Brainsplurge
Brainsplurge is a rare genetic condition that causes the brain to spontaneously implode. The brain that "Brainsplurges" compacts into itself, causing it to crush into a single point, then rushing outwards, liquifying the brain and causing it to rush out the victim's head, most commonly through the anal, oral, and nasal passages.
Common Symptoms[edit]
The most common indicator that one may be susceptible to a brainsplurge is above average intelligence, as it is the density of thoughts in one's head that sets off the chain reaction leading to the "Brainsplurge".
Other symptoms include:
- Intense headaches, also known as migraines.
- Shooting pains, just behind the eyes.
- Liquid flowing out one's ears or nose, this may be an indicator of a minor brainsplurge.
- The consistent cracking of one's neck is a symptom that the liquid from minor brainsplurges has accumulated around the vertebrae in the neck.
Treatment[edit]
There is no current treatment for brainsplurges, as the acute sudden nature of this condition, there is no chance for treatment. The average time a brainsplurge takes to fully occur is 12.3 seconds, and it is rare for one to survive a complete brainsplurge.
Survivors of complete brainsplurges are usually left as vegetables due to the massive brain damage caused by the episodes.
Recent studies have found that the symptoms of brainsplurges can be cured by shitting bricks, though throwing them at people is no longer recommended. It is said that this can be cured by speaking engrish but only for people who say unkind things about black people.
Notable Sufferers[edit]
Similar conditions[edit]
Brainsplats are very similar to brainsplurges, differing only in the fact that the brain becomes a black hole, rather than exploding outwards. This causes the victim to be eaten from the inside.
Super AIDS is very similar to brainsplurges in the fact that they only happen to people who aren't careful. If you think you have Super Aids you should probably consider suicide.
See also[edit]
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