Bit bucket

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A bit bucket.

Every computer has a Bit Bucket where all the unwanted and naughty bits go.

Idiot's guide[edit]

In a computer, all data is represented by bits. Each bit is a 1 or 0 and can represent, say Yes or No, True or Untrue, North or South, Mustard or Relish, etc. Several bits are put together to represent numbers. Eight 8 bits together are called a byte (i.e. Mustard Relish Relish Mustard Mustard Mustard Relish Mustard); four bits a nibblet (Relish Mustard Relish Mustard); 16 bits are called a mouthful. At least that's what my girlfriend says. (Note: in Europe, we use centimetres, not inches, so this may not be too impressive.)


Om om om

When you delete something (file, character, word, the main disk, etc.) it gets chucked into the Bit Bucket. As the Bit Bucket becomes fuller, the computer will run more slowly. When the Bit Bucket becomes full, the computer is rendered unusable.

Bits in the Bit Bucket can randomly form patterns that turn into malware. These can print words once spoken by Oscar Wilde or turn into viruses and damage your computer. Effectively the computer develops what is apparently a mind of its own, and the only solution is to reformat the drive and reinstall Windows™.

Neutralisation of full Bit Buckets[edit]

Microsoft Windows™ can neutralise full Bit Buckets, but only through pure ignorance and complete disregard for user data. What a bunch of bastards.

Tips to extend the life of your Bit Bucket[edit]

  • To extend the life of your Bit Bucket, you should reuse characters and words rather than delete and retype them.
  • Keep unwanted text at the bottom of your document and drag up letters and words as needed rather than retyping.
  • Note that any bits left in the clipboard are copied *back* to the bit bucket if they are not used, so you should copy a single character to the clipboard when you are finished with your computer.
  • Work in overtype mode rather than insert. This will minimise any use of the Bit Bucket. Oops, sorry, you're into the next sentence. ?just use Ctrl+Z to undo a few items.
  • Undo, or Ctrl+Z, is the worst thing you can do, as this creates copies of the entire document, so they can be undone or redone in the Bit Bucket.
  • If you copy text to the clipboard and do not use it, it will be *copied* back to the bit bucket, thus take up *twice* the space, so be careful.
  • If you overtype documents with the digit "0" (zero) before deleting the text, then the bits that go in the bit bucket will be all zeroes, and so will fill the bit bucket less than other characters. The worst character to leave is the digit "1" (one), as this is 100% "1", is thus very dense, and accordingly it will fill the bit bucket much more than a zero.
  • Also please keep in mind that for an additional consideration, you can double the size of your bit bucket when buying your next PC.