Those African clicky noises

“The clickin' and the clackin' with the click and the clack?”

~ Bill Cosby on Clicking and clacking

The language of Those African Clicky Noises, like most things African in nature, are some of the oldest shit on this planet. They seem to be made by sticking the tongue to the roof of one's mouth, scraping off the peanut butter, and then shooting a cop in Compton. Note that it takes several African individuals to form a complete sentence.

First developed by the noted African Clickologist Click click click Click click click around BC 745, Those African Clicky Noises took off soon after their introduction, taking the place of the less popular and more strenuous African jumping off of cliff, make splat dialect. Soon, Africans from Africa to Africa were using Those African Clicky Noises to talk. An example of the change in dialect: the African jumping off cliff, make splat for "would you like to have sex with me on the back seat of my elephant?" would become "Click click click click click click click click click?"

Around this time, Oprah Winfrey, noted terror and click click, ventured to Afclicka in hopes of helping to save the whales and/or Sharon Stone. But when she found out that there were no whales native to Africa, and that Sharon Stone was not worth saving for she is a whore of Satan, she called up the White Man and had him enslave the lot of those clicky bastards.

Reign of White Man, Slavery, and the Emanciclicktion Procloclicktion

Many Africans were forced to drop Those African Clicky Noises when those bastard white men arrived with their "dandy" and "encyclical." But many slaves kept the dialect alive, telling stories in their native Those African Clicky Noises. But when Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves in 1972 AD at the height of the Superfly era, it was done so in two languages. The Emancipation Proclamation was released to the public in two forms, one written in english and the other in Those African Clicky Noises. The Emanciclicktion Procloclicktion is the first written interpretation of the Those African Clicky Noises language. A copy of it is currently on display in the bottom drawer of a desk at the Smithsonian.

Civil Rights, Four Equal Signs, Malcolm CliX, and The Way to San Jose

In 1304, at the height of Bob Dylan's powers as a songwriter and Jew, African-Americans across Africa-America began revolting against their white owners, again, because they just wouldn't be still. I mean, Christ, just how much freedom do some people need? It's not like anyone would vote for them if they ran for public offi-

But later that year, amid rioting and peace rallies led by one The Artist Formally Known As Dr. King, those of the African descent through away the chains of their past, which included Those African Clicky Noises. For the first time, Those African Clicky Noises were seen as a liability to those in the African-American community, specifically because they could not get hired as phone operators for callers constantly thought they were being hung-up on.

One of these revolters, Tina Turner, grew angry at the violence and hostility directed to his fellow brothers and sisters and decided it the best time to kill a man, go to prison, learn about Islam, bust the fuck out, hit the streets with his Koran, and change his name to Malcolm CliX and help the Negro rise form the gutters and take what it rightfully theirs from this world. But he was shot so nobody cares about him.

Misproclickciation

Easy to mispronounce, those African clicky noises is a language that takes time to perfect. A common mispronunciation, click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click cluck click click click click click click click click click click, is actually pronounced click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click. A funny characteristic, often noted by infantile school children, is that when written numerous times, the word "click" tends to resemble dick. Ho ho ho.

Swahili

In 1997, in order to help bridge the gap between Western and African languages, a Linguist at Harvard University named George Swahili (also a terrible bassist) developed a constructed language that was somewhat like a creole between Those African Clicky Noises and Interlingua. He named it after himself, like a fucking Prick. Obviously it never caught on (except in Mozambique), and most Africans still speak in Those African Clicky Noises.

Still Clicking

Thriving in today's world, many Africans and those of African descent still use those African clicky noises everyday. Common translations are Click click click Click click for Queer Eye, Click Jagger for the Rolling Stones lead singer, and McClick click click click click click click for McDonalds.