White Man

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“Fuckin' shit.”

~ Samuel L. Jackson on the White Man

A White Man in training.

White Man is a nearly-extinct species of homo sapiens which became obsolete in the 1950's and was replaced by Flintstones Chewable Vitamins. Few examples of the species survive, except in three largely irrelevant geographical regions.



This is still the main home to White Man, containing little of interest except for some hot babes in Spain and Portugal. This was their largest territory until they moved to the Americas and established Whitopia. A civil war during the 1930s and 1940s failed to decide what to do with the Jews, who were not being quite as white as they should have been, and resulted in most of them moving to Redondo Beach, Florida. A similar war was fought only 30 years earlier, apparently over the ownership of a large sack of potatoes. This earlier war, though unpopular, significantly aided in enhancing Europe's ethnic diversity, which was of course contrary to the laws of Whitopia.


The largest state known to be occupied by White Man, this is also the most rebellious. Originally a colony controlled by Mediocre Britain for roughly 200 years, in 1776 they fought a revolution in order to free themselves from unfair laws preventing them from driving cars on the right side of the road. This was, indeed, a successful revolution, forever ensuring America's pre-eminence as the preferred home of White Man. However, only a part of America rebelled; a large expanse of snowy, desolate northern wasteland became Canada instead, because it was so cold up there nobody wanted to bother telling them a revolution was going on.


Whitopia is the mythical home of White Man, a country where all members of the White Man species can be free to hold backyard cookouts, watch baseball, and move to "better school districts" any time a "problem" arises without being publicly accused of being "discriminatory." Several expeditions have attempted to find Whitopia, which is believed to be somewhere in the state of Iowa, but all have failed. Most of the explorers sent on these expeditions have never returned, and are assumed to be either dead, or involved in the production of interracial anal sex DVD's or by capture the n.g.g.g=Naiz Gremany Gay Group also behined ;) O.J. case and slavly.


Little is known about the White Man inhabitants of this country, but scientists say there are probably a few who hang about here.

“There are probably a few who hang about here.”

~ Scientists on the White Man of Ireland


A typical White Man under attack by his most dangerous and deadly predator, Little White Girl also the emo and the black man and finally the gay man ;).

The white man cannot dance as well as other coloured men, they also cannot ride as dirty as they would so desire; achieving riding only partially dusty at the most. White guys also cannot jump and will mostly be found back packing or listening to trumpets in a room full of earl grey tea on a sunday evening with the towns bishop lord.

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