World War II (board game)

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search

Force Selection:[edit]


Tanks x 10 pv = 500
Big Tanks x 10 pv = 500
Submarines pv = 150
Planes pv = 250
+ moustache
+ custom luger pv = 600
Total 2000 points


Fortifications x 100 pv = 2000
Total 2000 points


Tanks x 5 pv = 250
Planes pv = 250
Warships x 10 pv = 750
+ cigar pv = 750
Total 2000 points


Tanks x 5 pv = 250
Infantry x 1750 pv = 1750
Total 2000 points
Special Rule: In Soviet Russia, game plays you; everywhere else, you play game


Tanks x 9001 pv = 1000
Planes x 9001 pv = 2000
Warships x 9001 pv = 4000
Big Tanks x 9001 pv = 5000
Extras x 9001 pv = 2000
Atom Bombs x 2 pv = 2000
Total 2,000 points
Special Rule: All USA troops enter the game at turn 10. +10 attack roll on Japan.


Planes pv = 250
Warships x 10 pv = 750
Strategy Card x 2 pv = 1000
Total 2000 points

Turn 1[edit]

Germany: "WTF? We should count up the US army list, I don't think they add up"
US: "STFU n000b. I'm giving you "1" for sportsmanship."
UK: "No, seriously US, have you checked your maths"
US: "WTF!!! You too! I'm depressed. My Army list is isolationist, you can't see it"
France: "Lamer"
Germany: "your just mad that there will be jews in your country"
France: "-_- thats so unfair!"
Germany: "Um...I'm moving tanks through this board here to your moms house.."
France: "WTF! I didn't know that board was part of the game"
Germany: "Of course it is"
France: "But it's a different color"
Japan: "Normally we use that one for playing Sci Fi"
France: "anyone have any lubricants?"
Germany: "No way! You know my strategy now"
UK: "Don't worry France, I'll beat Germany with trench warfare. It'll be great"

Germany sends tanks and big tanks onto board one, across the map, and down into board 2, behind France's fortifications. France rolls 1 for capitulation check, and concedes.

Germany 10 (Paris)
France -10 (Lamed)

Turn 2[edit]

UK: "Hah! Slow attritional warfare for the win!"
Germany: "OMG! You still have the old rulebook? You need the new panzer army list. Tanks get + 5 against deadlocked attritional warfare attempts"
UK: "Let me see that...DAMN! Can't we play old rules?"
Germany: "Didn't you see my game against Czechoslovakia?"
UK: "I was playing that new AH game, Appeasement"
Japan: "We all know that game sucks"
UK: "Germany's too strong. If I don't retreat to my island, I'll lose."
US: "Now who's isolationist?"

Germany uses tanks and big tanks. UK retreats

Germany +5 (Defeating British Army)
UK -5 (Running Away)

Turn 3-5[edit]

Germany: "Bombs! Yay!"
UK: "Don't care"

VP Germany 2/turn (Dropping Bombs)

VP UK 3/turn (Dropping Bombers)

Turn 6[edit]

Germany: "Bombs! Yay!"
UK "Still Don't care"
Japan: "What turn is it"
US: "Turn 6, why?"
Japan: "No special reason"

Germany rolls a 1 on the "critical misfire chart". This results in a hit on nearest neutral major power.

VP Germany -20 (capturing large swathes of land, starting land war in Asia)

Turn 7[edit]

Russia: "WTF? Like, we had a deal"
Germany: "Sucks to be you"
Russia: " WAVE"
Germany: "You still playing the old rulebook as well?"
Russia: "What? No, I just figured out this rulebook still lists Infantry as dirt cheap"
Japan: "Is it turn 10 yet"
US: "Why?"
Japan: "Really no reason. You join on turn 10 right?"
US: "Uh, yeah"
Russia: "Oh no, guys I forget to bring my tank models"
US: "I'll lend you some"
Russia: "Cool, thanks"
US: "I mean Lend-Lease"
Russia: "Whatever, we're fighting evil here"
US: "You still owe me money"

VP Russia -19 (incurring large debt to US, to be paid back over many years)

Turn 8[edit]

Japan: "Can we skip this turn?"
All: "NO."
US: "Why do you want to skip a turn?"
Japan: "..."

Germany kills 50 Infantry Russia kills 1 tank.

Fight going Russia's way.

VP No VP scored

Turn 9[edit]

Japan: "Yippee...Isolationist THIS."
US: "WTF???"
UK: "Hahaha, you deserved that... WTF? Why are you attacking us?"
Japan: "We need more breathing room."
US: "I never saw that coming..."
UK: "Now the US will get involved... finally."
Japan: "Actually, I meant to tell you both I was going to attack you, but something totally happened and I didn't."
US: "Whatever Japan. You suck."
UK: "You're only getting involved now you've been attacked. You know what? I think I could do this without you."
US: "WTF? There hasn't even been a real war before I joined you fucktard!"

Japan plays strategy card "Really obvious strategic attack on completely unaware target"

VP US -8 (Pearl Harbor) Japan +20 take over British and US territories

Turn 10[edit]

US: "It's time to kick butt."
UK, France, Russia: "You're two years late!!!"
Germany: "That has to be more than 2000 points, US."
US: "And I'm kicking Germany first for claiming that I cheated,"

Germany rolls "1" on supply table. All German tanks are -1 due to fuel shortages.
US moves troops to France
UK moves troops to France
US moves troops to Germany
UK moves troops to Germany

Germany: "This game sucks..."

VP US +10 UK +7 Russia +12 Germany -29

Turn 11[edit]

US: "HA! Time to die Japan!"
Japan: "You are right. Banzai. "
US: "No fair!"

Japan plays Strategy card "Pretty Crazy Joy Pilots"

US buys two atom bombs

VP America -5 (lost a ship) Japan -0.5 (lost a plane) UK -.05 (snakes on a plane)

Turn 12[edit]

Germany: "Crucial turn. All units attack."
US: "Whoa...I'm not sure if a fully equipped Hitler can be stopped!"
UK: "You haven't seen the new stats for Churchill, have you?"
Japan: "Whoa...good luck dude..."
Germany: "Thanks."

Churchill counter-charges Hitler. On the way in he is hit by a tank shell, but rolls his 3+ invulnerable save, and is okay. They are both "Grand Lord" level characters. Hitler rolls to attack, but misses due to Churchill's aura of protection. Churchill rolls and only gets one hit through the moustache effect. Hitler must roll to save, but with only one hit the German player is already contemplating the follow up move that will enable Hitler to destroy all the US tanks. Hitler rolls 3 dice to save, as a Grand Lord. He needs anything but all 1s. He rolls 1, 1, 2. However, Churchill's Cigar equipment gives -1 to all opponent saves.

Germany: "No WAY! This game is gay!"
UK: "Suck it up."
Germany: "Man...I spent 600 points on that character..."
UK: "Yeah well. We all know you only play that army list because you like the models for the "SS hotties" division
Germany: "That isn't entirely true. I also like tanks."
Russia: "Speaking of which, mine are in Berlin."
Germany: "I concede."
Japan: "No we don't!"

US drops both atom bombs.

US: Pwned!
Japan: "Okay. Good game guys.."

See also[edit]