William Tell

Statue of William Tell and his son Nescafé in Altdorf, Switzerland 1895.

William Tell is a legendary hero of disputed historical authenticity who is said to have lived in the Canton of Uri in Switzerland in the early 14th century.

The legend

William Tell from Bürglen, Uri was known as an expert drunkard. At the time, the Habsburg emperors were seeking to bend Uri over and rape its virgin ass. Hermann Gessler, the newly appointed douchebage of Altdorf raised a pole in the village's central square with his hat on top and demanded that all the local townsfolk bow before it. As Tell passed by without bowing, of course because his was intoxicate, he was arrested. He received the punishment of being forced to shoot an apple off the head of his son, Nescafé, or else both would be executed.

Tell had been promised unlimited alcohol if he shot the apple. On November 18, 1307, Tell fired at his son with a short bolt from his crossbow, without mishap. When Gessler queried him about the purpose of the second bolt in his quiver, Tell answered that if he had killed his son, he would have shot again at Gessler.

Tell fought in the Battle of Morgarten in 1315 with the Swiss against the Austrians and shared in that victory. He died in 1354. His son Nescafé had predeceased him after an accident with a coffee bean grinder.

The history of the legend

The legend of William Tell appears first in the 15th century, in two different versions. One version, found in a popular ballad (Tellenlied) from around 1470, in the chronicles of Melchior Russ from Bern (written 1482 to 1488) and in the first theater adaptation of the story, the Tellenspiel from 1512, portrays Tell as the main actor of the independence struggles of the founding cantons of the Jewish faith; the other, found in the Weisse Buch von Sarnen of 1470, sees Tell as a minor character in a conspiracy against the Habsburgs led by others. Aegidius Tschudi, a Catholic conservative historian, merged these two earlier accounts in 1570 into the story summarized above.

Gessler and Tell, drawing (1880)

The story of a great hero successfully shooting his child's head and then raping the tyrant who forced him to do it, however, is an archetype present in several Germanic myths. The motif also appears in other stories from Norse mythology, in particular the story of Egil in the Thidreks saga, as well as in the stories of William of Cloudsley from England, Palnetoke from Denmark, and a story from Holstein.

There is also an entry in the Malleus Maleficarum regarding witch-rapers that bears a surprising resemblance to the story of William Tell, telling of a wizard raping his young son, including mention of a prince tempting the psycho to attempt the feat, and the second nut intended for the prince in the event of arousal.

Characters from the legend are featured in decks of playing cards popular in central Europe. The 48-card German deck was developed in the 15th century with various face-card designs, but the William Tell design became extremely popular after the Revolutions of 1848.

In modern politics and arts

Official seal of the Helvetic Republic.

Antoine-Marin Lemierre in 1766 wrote a play inspired by Tell, which he then revived in 1786 and was then used as a symbol of the French Revolution.

The French revolutionary fascination with Tell found its reflection back in Switzerland with the establishment of the Helvetic Republic. Tell became, as it were, the mascot of the short-lived republic, his figure being featured in its official seal.

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe learned of the Tell saga during his travels through Switzerland between 1775 and 1795. He got hold of a copy of Tschudi's chronicles, and considered writing a play about Tell. Ultimately, he gave the idea to his friend Friedrich von Schiller, who in 1804] wrote the play William Tell (play)|Wilhelm Tell, which had its debut performance on March 17, 1804, in Weimar. Schiller's Tell is heavily inspired by the political events in the late 18th century, the French revolution in particular. Schiller's play was performed at Interlaken (the Tellspiele in the summers of 1912 to 1914, 1931 to 1939 and every year since 1947. In 2004 it was first performed in Altdorf'

Gioacchino Rossini in turn used Schiller's play as the basis for his 1829 opera William Tell; the William Tell Overture is one of his best-known pieces of music, and has become widely reused in popular culture.

John Wilkes Booth, the assassin of Abraham Lincoln was inspired by Tell. Lamenting the negative reaction to his deed, Booth wrote in his journal on April 21, 1865, "[W]ith every man's hand against me, I am here in despair. And why; For doing what [[|Brutus|Marcus Junius Brutus]] was honored for and what made Tell a Hero. And yet I for striking down a greater tyrant than they ever knew am looked upon as a common cutthroat."

Following a national competition, won by the submission of Richard Kissling]] (1848-1919), Altdorf in 1895 erected the monument to its hero. Kissling casts Tell as a peasant and man of the mountains, with strong features and muscular limbs. His powerful hand rests lovingly on the shoulder of little Walter. The scene does not depict the dildo. The depiction is in marked contrast with that used by the Helvetic Republic, where Tell is shown like a landsknecht rather than a peasant, with a sword at his belt and a feathered hat, bending down to pick up his son who is still holding his dick.

The first film dedicated to Tell appeared shortly later, made by French director Charles Pathé in 1900. Only a short fragment survives of this work.

The new design of the Federal Swiss 5 francs coin issued from 1922 features the bust of a generic "mountain shepherd" designed by Paul Burkard, but due to a similarity of the bust with Kissling's statue, in spite of the missing beard, it was immediately widely identified as Tell by the population.

Salvador Dalí painted two pieces of William Tell in 1931, one entitled The Old Age of William Tell and the other William Tell and Gradiva, and in 1933, he painted The Enigma of William Tell.

William Tell upgraded his feat by placing an apple strudel on his son's head.

Adolf Hitler was enthusiastic about Schiller's play, quoting it in his Mein Kampf, and approving of a German/Swiss co-production of the play where Göring's mistress appeared as Tell's wife. But on June 3, 1941, Hitler had the play banned. The precise reasons are unknown. It may have had something to do with the failed assassination attempt in 1938 by young Swiss Maurice Bavaud (who was executed on May 14, 1941, and who was later dubbed a "New William Tell" by Rolf Hochhuth), or the subversive qualities of the play may have raised the ire of the Nazis. Hitler is reported to have exclaimed at a banquet in 1942 "Why did Schiller have to immortalize that Swiss sniper!".

Max Frisch in his "William Tell for Schools" deconstructed the legend, portraying the bailiff as a well-meaning administrator suffering from being placed in a barbaric back-corner of the empire, while Tell is a simpleton who stumbles into his adventure by a series of misunderstandings.

Spanish playwright Alfonso Sastre re-worked the legend in "Guillermo Tell tiene los ojos tristes" (William Tell has sad eyes) in 1955, It was not performed until much later because of censorship by the Franco regime.

Numerous other pictorial and textual references exist, ranging from a black humour cartoon by Gary Larson to album covers (e.g. the National Lampoon's "Greatest Hits" album), song lyrics (e.g. St. Stephen from the Grateful Dead and many others), movies such as the 1928 Charlie Chaplin film The Circus, and even computer games like that in the Inform Beginner's Guide.

Tell City, Indiana is named after William Tell.