Wikipedianity
Wikipedianity is a cultish Borg-like belief system that says all information must be assimilated in accordance with NPOV. It is based on the model of the Red Cross, except for the part about helping people.
Hierarchy[edit]
- Jimbo (Uber-God)
- Administrators (demigods)
- Experienced practitioners (do-gooders)
- Random practitioners (heretics)
- Your mom (sacrifice)
Jimbo[edit]
Much has been written about Jimbo, the founder of Wikipedianity,[1] and all of it is true.[2] A little-known fact is that Jimbo is actually a descendant of the Serpent Warrior Axxu, from the fifth planet of the third sun in the Galaxy of the Laughing Turtle. He came to Earth to save humanity from diversity and individuality. When he reincarnated is not known, although some critics would say it was in 1256 on the 3rd of August at 43:00 am. The sky roared and the oceans rolled that fateful morning (according to other critics, it was actually at night. Three wars were fought over this dispute and twelve horses were killed). Unfortunately, computers had not been invented yet, so he left until such time as humanity was ready for his brilliance. He came back in the 21st century in his spaceship, and this has become known as the 0.1 coming.
Administrators[edit]
This section will not dwell on the function of administrators in our modern world; see troll for further details on that. Instead we will focus on the historical and mythical significance of these critters.
In Babylonian, admin roughly translates as 'someone who shovels dung in futility and despair'. They were and still are very important in order to fulfill The Savior's dull visions. They get nothing back for their hard work, yet that is the very purpose of being an admin in Wikipedianity. In Atlantis, admins were legendary for their knee-jerk reactions, quick wit and five eyeballs. They have since been genetically engineered to blend in with the masses.
Experienced practitioners[edit]
Also known as 'do-gooders', these are the foot-soldiers. They make the Wikipedian universe revolve around the Moon, otherwise we would all fall off the edge. It is rumoured among the do-gooders that there is something called the Internet, yet most shrug it off as just an evil lie purported by heretics.
Random practitioners[edit]
No one really knows why they are part of Wikipedianity and where they come from. They disrupt the lack of order by contributing stuff to the community. Thanks to the admins and the do-gooders, they don't stick around for very long.
Quote[edit]
“It has been prophesied that when you only get hits from Wikipedia from any search engine anywhere in the Universe, Jimbo will Rule.”
- ~ The Xannu Mysteries, 1:32,45:67 vers 23 (author unknown) [3]
Footnotes[edit]
- ↑ Also known as 'The Savior' or 'The Champ' among friends.
- ↑ Except when you disagree, then it's not, except when someone else disagrees with you, then it is.
- ↑ In actuality, 'The Xannu Mysteries' do not exist, but 'Xannu - The Prophecy' does. There is not yet a reference to Wikipedia or Jimbo in this book, but who knows what the future may hold...