Why?:Can't Anybody Drive in this Town?
This guy just cut me off! What the hell is he doing? He's gonna kill somebody! There's never a cop around when you need one. Where's your signal buddy? Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot this road belonged to you! Asshole! This whole town's full of jackasses who can't drive. I swear if I'm late for work one more time I'm gonna be in real trouble, and now I've got to deal with these morons who apparently got their driver's licenses from Cracker Jack boxes. Why can't anybody drive in this town?
Christ, here's another one!
It's a turning lane you stupid fuck! You see the big sign with the arrow? Maybe you'd pay closer attention if the arrow was shoved up your ass! Every morning with this shit. Mr. Johnson is just looking for an excuse to fire me. I can't be late again this morning. Christ on a crutch, just fucking go! Yeah, that's right, I'm letting you through you dipshit! Get the fuck out of the intersection!
Oh, what now?
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Are you fuckin' kidding me? That's where you decided to catch the bus? Now we've all gotta wait for you to shuffle your ass onto the bus because you couldn't be bothered to go around the corner? Jesus, I don't have time for this shit. After yesterday's lecture about "proper use of company resources" I have to keep a low profile for sure. Being late again is the worst thing that could happen right now. Yeah yeah, make sure you take your time with your precious walker, you worthless fuck.
What the... ?!
Get back in your fucking lane, dickhole! Did you even see me in that oversized gas-guzzler you call a SUV? Oh right, now you see me since you almost ran me off the goddamn road. But somehow its my fault you can't stay in one lane? What? Yeah I'm staring at you! I swear, everyday this shit happens, and Mr. Johnso... what the fuck are you doing?! It's a fucking carpool lane! Why do you think I have this pasty faced little dyslexic cow in my back seat? You are dyslexic, right Sharon? I just assumed since your fucking typing is atrocious. This is my lane, you little shit, so take your Hummer and go try to kill someone who actually drives worse than you do. Fucking Christ! If I'm late to work one more time, I'm coming after you, buddy.
God damn it!
Go the speed limit you cock sucking piece of aids infested donkey shit! Some of us have places to be, unlike you unemployed waste of space! I can't end up like you, loser. I'm going to get back on Mr. Johnson's good side if it kills me. Soon he'll forget all about how I accidentally downloaded 230,000 MB of hentai onto the company servers. It's not my fault, those stupid pop ups got the better of me. I swear I'm gonna be more careful next time I'm surfing Japanese porn sites in the conference room. Come on! It's the tall pedal on the right! Use it douchebag!
Fuck me, it's green!
First day driving? You don't have to wait for the pole to turn green too asshole! Every fucking morning. Yeah, maybe you should put down the coffee and drive! You're almost as much of a fuckhead as Mr. Johnson. I swear he's got some kind of grudge against me. Just because I wasn't wearing any pants when he found me. Like he's never taken his pants off in the conference room. Besides, it's not the first time he's seen me with no pants on. If I recall correctly, I wasn't wearing any pants when he caught his daughter and I in the breakroom at the Christmas party. It's not my fault she's a nympho cock addict. Am I right Tom? Yeah, I saw your name in her notebook. Was it you that taught her the Dirty Sanchez? You old dog. Thanks for the syphillis! She was the one who suggested a quick Christmas blowjob, but try telling Mr. Johnson that. What are they teaching them in high school these days anyway? Probably the same shit they're teaching these retards in driver's ed. Get fucking moving!
Feel free to cut across as many lanes as you like sperm burper! I hope you get raped by a biker gang! I hope they tear your asshole up real good fuckhead! You deserve to burn in a fire you pustule covered nut sack. Yeah I'm talking to you, you disease ridden, cum guzzling gutter fag. Yeah, that's right, give me the finger. Now I'm the asshole. Your brain must be even smaller than your dick you pig fucker. I bet you and Mr. Johnson love to give each other the ol' reacharound after getting drunk on appletinis. Fuckin' homos. I can't believe Mr. Johnson had the nerve to suggest I was gay! Just because I've got a few hundred pictures of naked men saved on my office computer. Can't a guy just be a little curious without being gay? Fucking jerkoff. I bet he wants to lick my asshole. Yeah; I'm sure he wants to nail me. Faggot. Yeah, you too! You're both fags!
I made it with three minutes to spare. I guess I still have a job. I really dodged a bullet there. Well, I gotta let you go grandma. I'll call you after work. Love you! Bye.