VeggieTales

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Because when you think of the Bible, you think vegetables.
I am the Englishman who went up the hill, and came down with all the bananas...
 
Makes just as much sense in context

VeggieTales is a Christian children's animated program featuring anthropomorphic Bible-thumpin' salad ingredients who portray Bible stories and Christian-values lessons in a "kid-friendly" manner, with each episode containing a "Silly Song" musical number as wraparounds. In addition to being based upon Bible stories, other inspirations include Monty Python, Gilligan's Island, Huckleberry Finn, and Robin Hood. Fun stuff.

Unlike certain other Christian series, VeggieTales is about the nicer bits of Christian morality (not being a dick, loving thy neighbor, being generous, respecting parents, avoiding consumerism, etc.). The show is often portrayed as being a nutritious and wholesome alternative to the satanic, violent filth that pervades mainstream children's programming.

Characters[edit]

  • Bob the Tomato – A slightly pessimistic tomato who is seen as the "straight man" of the veggie duo.
  • Larry the Cable Guy Cucumber – A dim-witted cucumber whose "Silly Songs" can actually be quite funny. Doubles as the creatively-named superhero LarryBoy.
  • Junior Asparagus – A goody-goody two-shoes asparagus kid, who must learn not to give into temptation and make bad decisions (most notably fibbing).
  • The French Peas – Two peas with French accents who are, oddly, sometimes villainous, and sometimes not.
  • Evil Scallions – Get it? Rapscallions... never mind.
  • Archibald Asparagus – Larry's stuffy, classically-trained British butler who builds cool gadgets for him when he dons the "LarryBoy" persona. Notably sparked controversy with Jerry Falwell and other Christian watchdogs, due to his flamboyant mannerisms.
  • Jimmy and Jerry – Two food-obsessed singing gourds.
  • Pa Grape – A wise elderly Jewish grape.
  • Mr. Lunt – A Spanish gourd popstar known for his hit single "My Cheeseburger".
  • Mr. Nezzer – The token Big Bad corporate stooge. He has a soft spot for teddy bears.

Notable episodes[edit]

Rack, Shack, and Benny (1995)

Based on the Bible story Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, this episode can be taken as a massive anti-corporate screed. The villains of the piece are a corporate executive and his sadistic henchman, while the employees have poor working conditions, poor pay, and are forced to worship an enormous chocolate bunny.

LarryBoy and the Fib from Outer Space! (1997)

It's kinda a mix between a Batman parody and a monster movie with a message about fibbing added. Also features (along with its sequel) the only time you will hear the phrase "Super-Suction Ears" in a sentence.

Josh and the Big Wall (1997)

Based on the Bible story of Joshua and the Battle of Jericho. Here, the walls of Jericho are defended by soldiers with slushees — French soldiers with slushees. That is all.

Madame Blueberry (1998)

Despite the name, Madame Bovary this ain't.[1] Madame Blueberry buys lots of stuff, e.g. an industrial air compressor which eventually destroys her house, from... er, StuffMart, and then realizes that material possessions do not make her happy. Unfortunately, when trying to move the stuff out of her house, the house accidentally gets destroyed.

LarryBoy and the Rumor Weed (1999)

Another Batman parody/B-movie combo with a jazzy musical number and a moral about how spreading rumors is wrong.

King George and the Ducky (2000)

Based on the Bible story of David and Bathsheba; here, Bathsheba has been replaced with a rubber duck, and King David has inexplicably been renamed "King George".

Lord of the Beans (2006)

BEANS

Controversy[edit]

Archibald Asparagus, who Jerry Falwell claimed will "one day be utterly annihilated, and there will be a celebration in heaven."

Series character Archibald Asparagus was the focus of a controversy in 1999 due to his English accent and eccentric, flamboyant mannerisms. A February 1999 article in the National Liberty Journal, published by Jerry Falwell, warned parents that Archibald could be a hidden gay symbol, saying "He is green — which we know is the color that gay men wear on Thursday — he wears a bow tie, and he speaks with a prissy British lilt. In one episode, Archibald can even be seen receiving sodomy."

This opinion immediately loses merit, seeing as how most asparagus are indeed green, therefore killing Falwell's point about Archibald's "skin" color, not to mention that other vegetables in VeggieTales, not just asparagus, are... well, green (i.e. Larry the Cucumber, the French Peas). Verification is still needed to prove that he received sodomy in any of his appearances; seeing as how the show's cast consists of produce, this act would be deemed scientifically impossible by a vast majority.

On home video releases, every episode of VeggieTales ends with a Bible verse. However, in 2006, when the series made its television premiere on NBC, these verses were controversially cut, with executives claiming the show was "too Christian for airwaves". Falwell stated that this was "not a surprise, considering NBC is the network that houses liberal sodomite fake news program MSNBC. They have historically had no respect for conservative values, and show no signs of gaining it anytime soon."

In 2022, girl group Girlz 12 stole the backing track from the show's boy band spoof "Belly Button" for use in their song "Apart." Nobody noticed.

See also[edit]

Footnotes[edit]

  1. Adultery is not likely on the show's list of permissible topics.