Vancouver Canucks
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| Conference | Western | |
| Division | Pacific | |
| Arena | Rogers Arena | |
| City | A frozen wasteland | |
| Colors | White, green, and blue. | |
| Stanley Cups | None 
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| Owner | The Yeti | |
| Fans | Terrorists | |
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“لقد فشلنا! أنادي لمشجعينا! اقتحموا الشوارع و "احتجوا"!”
“Let's make fools out of ourselves!”
The فانكوفر كانوكس, mainly known as the Vancouver Canucks, is a global terrorist organization that masquerades as a semi-professional hockey team in the NHL. They play in the pacific division as a member of the western conference. They were originally located in the Middle East. They were moved to Vancouver Canada following allegations against the Canadian government regarding Islamophobia.
They have had an average overall record and have won a total of 0 Stanley Cups; however, they once got close, and by "close" we mean got to the cup finals and got stomped 4-0 against the Boston Booins.
Explosive beginning[edit]
The Canucks began with a "Explosive" first season. According to eyewitnesses, the LA Kings dominated them in the game; however, the post-game was a different story. The LA king's arena was sent sky-high following a major explosion in the underground sex dungeon Basement. Following a series of major explosions and pubic gerrymandering, the league elected to give the win to the Canucks to cease the violence. This however failed to stop the violence as they did an arabic form of the Seizure Dance.
Violence instigation accusations[edit]
Following the opening season, the Canucks were accused of instigating violence on the basis that blowing up arenas every 7th business day was rather illegal and not conducive the the Maple Syrup government's agenda. As a result, the owners twice removed cousin was arrested on the blanket charge that hair is not acceptable in a twink society like Canada. Subsequently, the yeti's cousin (Hanniff Bootybomber) was rendered bald.
Racism[edit]
Critics critiqued the critical response by the syrup empire's censorship organization and were subsequently found missing 3 days later. Civil rights groups such as ILM (Islamlic Lives Matter) protested the response claiming that bombing places of public gathering was just a cultural thing. As a result, a prelude to the infamous Sore loser's riot of 2011 occurred. The riot--known as the "make your political movement look bad riot"-- was quickly squashed as the syrup empire allowed the police to beat the "protesters" to oblivion.
That one time they made it to the cup finals[edit]
The Canucks finally managed to make it to the cup finals where they got absolutely rocked by the Boston Booins. The score ended at 4-0 when the league just called in to stop the slaughter. Needless to say, the fans were not happy. Canucks owner Yeti Yettington released a press statement that served as a call to arms for the فانكوفر كانوكس people's authority organization. The angry members took to the streets and made fools of themselves.
The riot[edit]
Since fans were unhappy, they decided to resort to the most primitive human instinct during rage: destruction of property.
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