Uncyclopedia talk:Store

The Uncyclopedia Store

This is the official place to whine and scream and return a defective project. But you wouldn't want to anyway, Norwegians products are of the best of quality. Anyway, This desk was created to handle any disputes that might come forward. From licensing issues to profitability issues, It's all here. All you have to do is post a topic with your concern and one of our assistants will come up and help you. But follow the golden rules.

Please keep it down
Be Mature & Calm
Specifically State Your Issue
Don't Bitch about It
Post politely
Don't Hate The Norwegians

Thank you and we will now be taking your concerns starting now.

i can't buy any of this stuff[edit]

because they're too freaking expensive!!! C'mon! jesus.--Bhop is awsum and you are not!

Shopping[edit]

Will there be any half-off sales for the upcoming holiday season? -- Kip > Talk • Works • • 08:45, 14 November 2007 (UTC)

Yes, Most of the pricy stuff will cost less than usual. --NXWave 23:07, 15 November 2007 (UTC)

Nothing Exists In That Damn Shop! Sasuke Kid 10:12, 5 February 2008 (UTC)

Templates[edit]

Wouldn't it make more sense to put the header and footer navigation content into a template? That means that the pages are simpler, easier to navigate, and easier to make changes to (rather than having to modify every page). In addition, I made an "item" template, so instead of entering

 {| align=center cellspacing=4 style="border:1px solid MediumAquamarine;background:honeydew"
 | bgcolor=#99CC99 width=850 height=10 | <center><b>Oscar Wilde Action Figure</b></center>
 |- 
 | valign=top height=30 | [[Image:Wilde-figure.jpg|200px|left]]'''Brand:''' Misc.<br>'''Type:''' Action Figure<br>'''Description:''' ''“He looks just like me”''
~ '''[[Oscar Wilde]] on Oscar Wilde Action Figure'''<br>'''Price:''' $29.99
 |- 
 | valign=top height=30 | <div align="right"><small>[http://www.uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Uncyclopedia:Store/Cart http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/0/01/Buyitnow.gif]</small>
 |}

We could enter:

 {{StoreProduct
 |name=Plush Grue
 |image=Plushgrue.jpg
 |brand=Misc.
 |type=Soft toy
 |description=Just because it's stuffed doesn't mean it won't eat you
 |price=$29.99
 |url=
 }}

to produce

Plush Grue

Brand: Misc.
Type: Soft toy
Description: Just because it's stuffed doesn't mean it won't eat you
Price: $29.99

It should make creating, modifying, and adding items much easier in addition to changing the appearance and making the code more readable. --WillMcC 04:20, 16 November 2007 (UTC)

Due to incompatibilities with the Wiki Image Markup, I had to use the direct link images as such http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/6/65/Uncyclopedia_logo.png to get overflow: scroll to work. If you can find a better way that supports the overflow: scroll variable. Please tell me.

Oh and the full code is this.

 {| align=center cellspacing=4 style="border:1px solid MediumAquamarine;background:honeydew"
 | bgcolor=#99CC99 width=850 height=10 | <center><b>Oscar Wilde Action Figure</b></center>
 |- 
 | valign=top height=30 |
 {| border="0" cellpadding="0" style="background:honeydew"
 |-valign="top"
 |http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/8/89/Wilde-figure_thumb.jpg
 |'''Brand:''' Misc.<br>'''Type:''' Action Figure<br>'''Description:''' ''“He looks just like me”''
 ~ '''[[Oscar Wilde]] on Oscar Wilde Action Figure'''<br>'''Price:''' $29.99
 |}
 |- 
 | valign=top height=30 | <div align="right"><small>[http://www.uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Uncyclopedia:Store/Cart http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/0/01/Buyitnow.gif]</small>
 |}

But thanks for your contribution.--NXWave 08:13, 16 November 2007 (UTC)

I'm a little stumped, what does the overflow: scroll parameter do? In the mean time, I can modify it so that one can insert the URL and/or the filename. --WillMcC 13:06, 16 November 2007 (UTC)

Basicy it's part of overflow which allos you to align it to one box. See here for more information. --NXWave 15:14, 16 November 2007 (UTC)

I've tweaked it so that it works either way, image= uses the image itself, and image_url= uses the full URL of the image.

Plush Grue

Brand: Misc.
Type: Soft toy
Description: Just because it's stuffed doesn't mean it won't eat you
Color: Brown
Price: $29.99

Also, some more templates: {{StoreFooter}} produces

Uncyclopedia, NRV, ICU, UnNews, Dead Snigger Storage, Grue, Sexual Predator, Poop Cuisine, Oscar Wilde, Canned Quotes and Sockpuppet are all trademarks of their respective holders.
Please note that trying to revert the page will lead to a lot of broken subpages as the new layout is more organized this way. If you have a dispute and or want to revert the page, please use the talk page.
Uncyclopedia Store version 2.4

If you want to order by phone, please dial 1-800-THE-UNCYCLOPEDIA-STORE and provide your name, address, credit card info and social security number.

and {{StoreHeader}} produces

The Uncyclopedia Store

{{StoreNavBar}} produces

Our Products

Shirts

Hats

Mugs

Software

Misc.

Brands

Potato Puzzle

NRV

ICU

UnNews

Dead Snigger
Storage

Misc.

If we want to use them on every page, it would make modifications much easier, meaning that only one page needs to be edited rather than every page. --WillMcC 19:06, 16 November 2007 (UTC)

MY History??[edit]

MACK keynote "gertnote" 2007ish: "As I came up to the Uncyclopedia Store, it was an ugly little corporation that was CafePress based and needed some whippin'. After further research on touch-screens, I invented the BoobMACphone that I accidentaly ate during drunkness. Now I have made a new way to UnShop the Uncyclopedia Store. I called it the UnStore 1.7. It was a great ressurrection, but now the 2.0 store has taken over, the times pass, and the store is better than ever, making more money every day. My times have passed, and I- wait- what the hell am I doing here?" --Sir General Minister G 5 FIYC UPotM [Y] #21 F@H KUN 17:26, 27 November 2007

Edit restrictions[edit]

I thought of an idea for the store and put it in the requests section. But then I noticed I could only suggest things that the store actually sells. Well, first of all, why limit it? Secondly, ANYONE CAN EDIT. No one owns any articles except for his or her own userpage.

Here is my idea that would not fit into the requests category.:

Instead of just one item, I have a suggestion for a new category for the store. The human UnNews reporter joke gave me an idea: how about a section specifically for slavery? The descriptions would have race, nationality, background, personality, rank, etc. OPINIONS PLZ. Cheddar Cheesia 03:09, 30 November 2007 (UTC)

Well if you want to add your own product, Just go to the product page and actually add your idea and/or create a new catagory. But if you can manage to make slaves buyable. Go fot it, And the limitation is for when the actual storefront opens, Which wil be coming very, very soon. --NXWave 22:58, 30 November 2007 (UTC)

Thanks. But I don't think many people will like it if it's limited. If no one is happy about it, there's no sense in keeping it up. Also, the article was deleted, but I was actually the first person to come up the idea for a fake store and make an article about it, so I think I deserve the right to put up what I want, even when the limitation comes. It's only fair. Cheddar Cheesia 00:58, 1 December 2007 (UTC) (UTC)

Uncyclopedia, NRV, ICU, UnNews, Dead Snigger Storage, Grue, Sexual Predator, Poop Cuisine, Oscar Wilde, Canned Quotes and Sockpuppet are all trademarks of their respective holders.
Please note that trying to revert the page will lead to a lot of broken subpages as the new layout is more organized this way. If you have a dispute and or want to revert the page, please use the talk page.
Uncyclopedia Store version 2.4

If you want to order by phone, please dial 1-800-THE-UNCYCLOPEDIA-STORE and provide your name, address, credit card info and social security number.

UnStore Images[edit]

I'm trying to put http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Image:JordanCart.gif in an article for the UnStore I'm making, but the link I use always has a 404. How do I put in images for the UnStore? Cheddar Cheesia 21:50, 11 December 2007 (UTC)

Don't know, Chedda!—Flutter (Talk•Games•Fun Pages•Awards•Help) 20:59, 1 July 2009 (UTC)

No, rly!—Flutter (Talk•Games•Fun Pages•Awards•Help) 20:59, 1 July 2009 (UTC)

UnStore has a Glitch?[edit]

I tried to buy your newly made merchandise, but your store system seems to be glitching. I thought it was just my computer, but I tried it on different computers and it keeps on saying that I have no items. Please assist.

Your concerned customer,

--Narf, the Wonder Puppy/I support Global Warming and I'm 100% proud of it! 04:09, 23 December 2007 (UTC)

Ditto[edit]

I feel really stupid for asking this, but are any of the items in the store real? It keeps saying that my cart is empty and that I tried to order a nonexistant item, even when the item seemed like a reasonable thing to sell, like a t-shirt. Is this a glitch or is the whole store "content-free" like the rest of the site? Knonsense 04:42, 12 October 2008 (UTC)

OOOO SHINY![edit]

Am I a horrible person for actual wanting this stuff to be real? --Sgt. Fluffy 01:46, 11 June 2008 (UTC)

Double plus good[edit]

I wish this was for real. It should be! Now there's a way to get our own hosting and solve the whole server debacle. 132.208.91.10 20:08, 5 November 2008 (UTC)

Me too. Plus, we need real items.

|Si Plebius Dato' (Sir) Joe ang Aussie CUN|IC Kill

| 06:44, 19 November 2008 (UTC)

New LOGO[edit]

I've designed a new logo for The Uncyclopedia Shop. Its outline is from Wikiversity.--SunnyChow 15:27, 26 February 2009 (UTC)

I like the old better, even though it was designed by him who shall not be named. ~

15:39, 26 February 2009 (UTC)

You mean NXWave? -Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 16:14, 26 February 2009 (UTC)

Isn't the word "NXWave a one-way ticket to Bansville, USSR?

That reminds me;Bloody NXWave, bloody NXWave, bloody NXWAVE!!!... Stupid urban legends... Sir Not A Good Username360

KUN 02:50, 27 February 2009 (UTC)

Announcement of intent[edit]

Since I have lots of time on my hands I intend to rectify the "issues" with this page which I feel are as follows:

1) Horrible colors, fonts and overall appearance:

If the (front) page wasn't called the Uncyclopedia Store, I'd be pretty confused looking at the front page.....in fact, I'm confused even with the title.

2)Extremely poor writing:

The author seemed to be more fluent in English when telling people that their idea for the page is no good while the actual writing in the article is filled with errors and ????????. Well, he's gone and the page belongs to US.

3)Excessive Cruft:

Somebody take out the hatchet. The "coming soon" page is a prime example of wasted 1's and 0's. Some aspects need a steamroll and that would be the poster child.

4)Monotonous product line:

How many white mugs, hats and tee shirts do we need? A lot of it should stay (IMO) but the product line doesn't get very interesting beyond that. I see some good potatochopping from people wanting to add to the piece and those previous works are just sitting there waiting for inclusion.

Before I touch anything I'd like any concerned or interested parties to come forward and share your thoughts.

Thank you,

Dr S -- 09:58, 5 April 2009 (UTC)

I know this has already been mentioned but...[edit]

We ought to have a real store. I want my Uncyclopedia swag.

Could anyone make products based on this? 83.161.230.43 16:43, November 21, 2009 (UTC)

Puzzle Potato Brand[edit]

You could make an actual puzzle potato Blue Platypus 04:00, April 16, 2011 (UTC)

Hey![edit]

(Sorry for my bad english ^_^') The Uncyclopedia:Store, already has a version in Spanish, the Inciclopedia:Tienda. Could it be placed? (Because you can not edit) (interwiki) --Sebagomez 22:04, December 13, 2011 (UTC)

Can't add items to cart[edit]

When I click the "Buy now" button, I am taken to the cart which says I have nothing! Someone please help --31.53.80.87 15:16, February 17, 2015 (UTC)

This website no longer sells merchandise, sorry! Spıke Ѧ 15:53 17-Feb-15