Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/September 30

September 30: Lol-iday (Italy, formerly), Get in a Drunken Knife Fight Day

• 903 BCE - The Game spins itself into existence and makes you LOSE!
• 1399 - Burt Lancaster deposes Richard Burton to become Henry IV, King of England.
• 1452 - First printed book, the Johann Gutenberg Bible is followed closely by The Girls of Gutenberg Press and The Gutenberg Bible, Lingerie Edition.
• 1677 - Lol-iday is first proclaimed on the planet of Italy by Holy Roman Emperor Palpatine.
• 1679 - The last occurrence of Lol-iday, due to the forced slavery of the Umpalumpanians by Caesar.
• 1813 - Battle of Bárbula: Simón Bolívar defeats Santiago Bobadilla in a drunken knife fight.
• 1924 - The World Snooker Championship is held in New York for the first time. Americans fail to understand the game; the stock market crashes afterward.
• 1925 - Ski-jumping is born in Lithuania. Advocates of downhill skiing and assisted suicide are pleased.
• 1939 - Adolf Hitler and Josef Stalin get caught in a Chinese thumb-trap. They reconsider global strategy and make a pact of non-aggression accordingly.
• 1941 - Adolf and Joe free themselves from the thumb-trap after exactly two years. They decide ass-kicking is in the cards again.
• 1947 - The World Series, featuring the New York Yankees and the Brooklyn Dodgers, is televised for the first time. Baseball fans who hate both teams discover there is a world of reality outside of sports.
• 1949 - The Berlin Airlift ends after millions of cubic feet of air were successfully transported to Berlin.
• 1955 - James Dean gets drunk, tries to get in a knife fight with oncoming car.
• 1984 - After Earth's transit of Mars, the African Republic of Upper Volta changes its name to Mars Volta.
• 2013 - Charlie Sheen gets in a drunken knife fight with himself, wins.