Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/January 11
Jump to navigation
Jump to search
January 11: Fear of the Apocalypse Day, Guacamole/Whack-a-Mole Confusion Day
- 3000 BCE - God vows to destroy the Earth, possibly while drunk.
- 1834 BCE - Shamans kill a porcupine to determine if it is indeed the end of the world. Instead, with their hands full of quills, they determine it is the end of killing porcupines.
- 50 BCE - World is still not ended yet, with most everyone waiting with bated breath. As some people don't understand exactly what that is, they fail to brush in the morning and wait with bad breath.
- 34 - The end is near! But which end? And how near?
- 184 - The end is near! However, it is narrowly averted when the end fails to make a left at Albuquerque and gets lost.
- 1386 - Maybe the end is next week?
- 1862 - Mexican forces defeat a superior force of French moles outside Guerrero. By leaving out bowls of guacamole, half the French forces are tricked into go back to their headquarters for chips. Mexican cavalry then attacked with mallets, winning many prize tickets.
- 1967 - The Doors release the song The End but fail to trigger the Apocalypse. Most people instead up waiting for The End to end.
- 1979 - The movie Apocalypse Now fails to kick off the end of the world.
- 2004 - The Whack-a-Mole arcade game is introduced. Plastic moles equipped with high-intensity lasers fight back against a player armed with a mallet. It proves to be unpopular except in pizza joints where the burning smell from the game is covered up by the odor of burnt pizza.
- 2006 - The TV series Crocodile Whisperer debuts. The show garners high ratings when the animal expert is attacked and eaten after being distracted by Steve Irwin waving hello.
- 2016 - A woman runs for President. A woman loses the election because she has a husband that most people dislike.
- 2018 - Two words: Avocado toast.
- 2020 - The first of the 4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse arrives. Most people spend most of their time indoors in pandemic related isolation. Nobody can agree on who or what is to blame. As a result, this year is best described as "2020 hindsight".