Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/February 9

February 9: International Tourettes Day

• 1012 - Anglo-Saxons tell the Normans to SUCK MY DICK their SUCK MY DICK with a SUCK MY DICK.
• 1066 - In the Battle of Hastings, SUCK MY DICK happens.
• 1222 - SUCK MY DICK.
• 1492 - Christopher Columbus begins his first journey across the Atlantic, and gets SUCK MY DICK.
• 1812 - Canada and The United States go to SUCK MY DICK war. Nobody SUCK MY DICK notices.
• 1914 - Throngs of tourists visit the US on this day only to find it is actually SUCK MY DICK Tourettes Day. They SUCK MY DICK stay, because they feel like they are in SUCK MY DICK Paris.
• 1960 - Oil mining in Alberta, Canada goes wrong, causing the rig to get stuck pumping farther and farther into the hole while the rich liquid spews out.
• 1965 - Wham-O's Superball is introduced and becomes a runaway hit, because people love to play with balls.
• 2005 - After placing her pen on the table, Keira Knightley was then seen to SUCK MY DICK fall asleep.
• 2006 - Dick Cheney gets on stage with Aerosmith to sing Cheney's Got a Gun. SUCK MY DICK.
• 2008 - Steve SUCK MY DICK Ballmer plans not to FUCKING KILL™ people, but to SUCK MY DICKING KILL™ them instead.
• 2009 - Kanye West is sorry, but Beyoncé had one of the best videos of all time. OF ALL TIME, DOG.
• 2010 - Taylor Swift wins at the VMA's again, except this time when Kanye West tries to bring his drunken ass up, she punches him in the nose, where he then falls on Beyoncé, who is so surprised, she screams. This alerts her bodyguards, who then tackle Kanye West and beat the crap out of him. That night he succumbs to his injuries, and Taylor Swift goes back up to the microphone. "I'm sorry, y'all, but Michael Jackson had one of the best deaths of all time! Of all time!"