Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/February 9

February 9: International Tourettes Day

• 1012 - Anglo-Saxons tell the Normans to ASS their ASS with a ASS.
• 1066 - In the Battle of Hastings, ASS happens.
• 1222 - ASS.
• 1492 - Christopher Columbus begins his first journey across the Atlantic, and gets ASS.
• 1812 - Canada and The United States go to ASS war. Nobody ASS notices.
• 1914 - Throngs of tourists visit the US on this day only to find it is actually ASS Tourettes Day. They ASS stay, because they feel like they are in ASS Paris.
• 1960 - Oil mining in Alberta, Canada goes wrong, causing the rig to get stuck pumping farther and farther into the hole while the rich liquid spews out.
• 1965 - Wham-O's Superball is introduced and becomes a runaway hit, because people love to play with balls.
• 2005 - After placing her pen on the table, Keira Knightley was then seen to ASS fall asleep.
• 2006 - Dick Cheney gets on stage with Aerosmith to sing Cheney's Got a Gun. ASS.
• 2008 - Steve ASS Ballmer plans not to FUCKING KILL™ people, but to ASSING KILL™ them instead.
• 2009 - Kanye West is sorry, but Beyoncé had one of the best videos of all time. OF ALL TIME, DOG.
• 2010 - Taylor Swift wins at the VMA's again, except this time when Kanye West tries to bring his drunken ass up, she punches him in the nose, where he then falls on Beyoncé, who is so surprised, she screams. This alerts her bodyguards, who then tackle Kanye West and beat the crap out of him. That night he succumbs to his injuries, and Taylor Swift goes back up to the microphone. "I'm sorry, y'all, but Michael Jackson had one of the best deaths of all time! Of all time!"