Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/February 7

February 7: National Don't Memorize Your Lines Day

• 33 CE - Jesus memorizes his lines.
• 1756 - Oscar Wilde opens in a play for which he did not memorize his lines. He improvs the whole play, to everyone's amazement. This dialogue became the basis for Wilde's 'The Importance of Being Ernest'. It also lead to the consequent discovery of cheese.
• 1823 - ummmmm... Line!
• 1876 - Steam locomotive forgets its lines, derails, crashes, kills hundreds. Fuckwit.
• 1901 - Sherlock Holmes forgets his "lines".
• 1950 - The... teleprompter... is... invented... for... people... who... do... not... something.
• 1965 - Birthday of Gamera. Gamera gets his ass handed to him before he can destroy Tokyo by Godzilla. Since Tokyo is now not in any immediate danger, Godzilla destroys Tokyo.
• 1967 - The Japanese monster movies introduce their most terrifying monster character yet: "Hitler" - a human who attacks other nations without provocation and slaughters millions. His most successful movie, World War II, pits him against another monster, Stalin. Stalin is given eye beams to counter Hitler's flame-breath. In a strange turn of events, Tokyo is not destroyed. Modern science is baffled.
• 1975 - American troops in Vietnam forget their lines. The A team are wrongly accused of this. They promptly escape using a combination of Bill Clinton's cigars, a cabbage launcher and Mr T's pity. The rest is history.
• 1980 - Riverdance is originally performed by Shetland ponies. However, thrown horseshoes kill several audience members so human replacements are used afterwards.
• 1998 - OMEs plan to to declare war on the emos... but they forget their lines.
• 2005 - This is the day the All Mighty Muffin Lord takes over Earth Beta. He conquered the previous ruler because he had his lines memorized.
• 2007 - The All Mighty Muffin Lord forgets his lines and is killed by the Earth Beta version of Peyton Manning (who is, in this timeline, a neo-Nazi overlord).
• 2008 - Don't know what happens today? Well if you'd learned your lines you'd know what this was going to say. Tough shit.