Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/December 27

December 27: Invention of the Artificial Vagina

• 42 - 9th anniversary of the first anniversary.
• 537 - Emperor Justinian I officially opens the Hagia Sofia in Constantinople with a vicars and tarts party.
• 1521 - Fanatical protestant preachers arrive in Wittenberg to burst party balloons and declare the apocalypse is coming their way.
• 1703 - Portugal and Britain sign a trade deal to give the former better access to England's wine guzzlers. Port becomes very popular but results in a lot of gouty old men.
• 1831 - Charles Darwin boards the HMS Beagle, and begins his lifelong mission to undermine God and all that is decent.
• 1939 - Adolf Hitler becomes frustrated when Germany's top scientists fail to invent the artificial vagina.
• 1944 - Winston Churchill invents the artificial vagina and is hailed a hero. Hitler is crushed by this and committed suicide several months later
• 1945 - Josef Stalin invents Soviet artificial vagina, one hundred times younger, tighter, prettier and tastier than Churchill's. Long live Comrade Stalin! Long live the artificial vagina! Long live the Revolution! Long live the Workers, who can now wank with greater realism than the downtrodden hand-dependents of the Capitalist world! Down with Churchill! Down with Capitalism! Down with Marks and Spencers! Down with Fascism! Down with Debenhams and Waitrose! Down with hands, tissues and Vaseline!
• 1954 - Nikita Khrushchev condemns Stalin's Soviet artificial vagina, saying it screws the lonely and single.
• 1954 - Nikita Khrushchev is promptly 'dealt with' by the KGB. Long live the glorious Soviet Union!
• 1969 - Boxing Day causes many deaths from internal bleeding as its meaning is misinterpreted.
• 1990 - World Peace War declared on UNO by UNO members.
• 2005 - 5th anniversary of the universe exploding violently.
• 2007 - Major cleanup after boxes from Boxing day wipe out half the human population.
• 2008 - King Kong does Eeyore in the honey tree. Donkey Kong is born!
• 2009 - When people discover what Boxing Day is actually about, it is promptly cancelled.