UnNews:Timmy accused of having cooties
Jump to navigation
Jump to search
| Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother? | ✪ | UnNews | ✪ | Tuesday, April 22, 2025, 09:07:59 (UTC) |
| Timmy accused of having cooties | 
|
1 May 2008
My mommy says that only dirty people get their shoes at the Salvation Army, Timmy.
WINSTED, Connecticut - In a press conference today, local first grader Brittany DiSantis revealed that Timmy has cooties. "He smells like pee-pee" she told our reporter. "He's a meanie poop-head and he has cooties.".
In response to these allegations, Timmy has denied all charges of being infected. "She's just a stupid girl," he said as he entered his boys-only clubhouse, "she's just mad because I ripped the head off her doll and killed it with my GI Joe.". While no evidence has surfaced, a poll of Mrs. Butterton's first grade class shows a general consensus that Timmy does in fact have cooties.
Sources[edit]
Ivan Uglybutt "Boys are icky poop-heads". Uncyclopedia, May 01, 2008
 |
This article features first-hand journalism by an UnNews correspondent. |