UnNews:Stern dropped from radio stations

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Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?

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UnNews

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Sunday, December 22, 2024, 03:00:59 (UTC)

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NEW YORK - Controversial DJ Howard Stern has been dropped from four US radio station towers because he keeps promoting his move to a network broadcasting on twinkies. Since the FCC has no jurisdiction over twinkies, Stern feels his broadcasts will be safe for at least a while.

So far this year, four separate radio general managers have hauled Stern to the top of four radio towers and dropped him from the top. The GM's were quoted as saying, "we don't understand it, we took him to the top like our bosses ordered, and booted him because we knew we could do it. We don't get how he can survive the fall...yeah...we've done it four times already. Hey, maybe Bob has a taller tower?"

One witness said that they saw one of the tower drop instances, and couldn't believe it. "Yeah, I'm a janitor for the local Quikie-Mart and I never saw something like that before." Also, the witness concluded that Stern may have survived all four dropppings because Stern was wearing his famed Fart-man attire.

In 2004, Stern was dropped from towers by six stations owners of media giant Beer Channel after it had to pay the Federal Communications Commission $1.75trillion (£95) in parking fines. The DJ's broadcasts are well known for landing in trouble with regulators for making bread baskets and informing the public about craft fairs.

But Stern continues to be one of the most popular talk show hosts, particularly in the 17-99 age category, for males, females and apes.