UnNews:Shrek blamed as Team Fairlyland flop at the Surreal World Cup
| Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother? | ✪ | UnNews | ✪ | Thursday, November 21, 2024, 18:58:59 (UTC) |
| Shrek blamed as Team Fairlyland flop at the Surreal World Cup | 
|
18 June 2010
FAR FAR AWAY, Dreamworks --Angry fans of Team Fairyland are blaming Shrek Rooney as their team failed to score against Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves at the Surreal World Cup in South Africa.
The green faced star of Team Fairyland was said to be 'out of sorts' as he failed to score a goal against the unfancied Ali Baba team who managed to stifle Shrek by placing a line of jars across the field. Going a deep green in frustration, Shrek Rooney was reduced to abusing the fans and then disappeared down the tunnel after the final whistle was blown. Abuse was also directed at Cinderella for consistently missing the ball in open play - and getting her glass slippers stuck in the turf.
The manager of Team Fairlyland, Geppetto Cappello had thrown on Pinocchio, Jiminy Cricket, Monstro the whale and Emile Heskey in a last minute attempt to get a goal but the game remained scoreless. Cappello had promised that he could make a real team out of honest English wood but in the end, Team Fairyland were booed off the pitch by their fans for playing like a bunch of trees. Capello was asked for an interview after the game but spoke in Italian without translation and then disappeared as he was 'going away with the fairies' that evening.
Sitting with Cappello watching the game was Prince Charming, Fairyland's former celebrity player. Charming was seen cursing and looked he was elsewhere, perhaps home in the USA and out shopping with his wife Spendthrift Beauty.
It's a great shame we didn't win the game, said Charming.I would have kissed all my old team mates to wake them up but they seemed to have been mesmerised by some old Ali Baba magic. I am sure Team Fairyland will recover in time to play their next opponents in the Surreal World Cup. A bit of sprinkled magic dust, a few handy spells to disable our opponents and our fear of losing should see us beat .. but the interview was cut short when everyone connected to Team Fairyland were turned into jackasses.
Team Fairyland's odds to win the Surreal World Cup have been downgraded in favour. The smart magic is said to be now drifting to other fantasy teams taking part like the Swiss Army Gnomes, the clog playing mice from Holland and Maradona...{sorry correction. Maradona is a real person...)
Sources[edit]
- Staff "England draw against Algeria in the World Cup". Daily Telegraph, June 18, 2010