UnNews:Same-sex marriage gains historical support
| We have met the enemy, and he is us | ✪ | UnNews | ✪ | Thursday, November 21, 2024, 14:17:59 (UTC) |
| Same-sex marriage gains historical support | 
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13 January 2014
SALT LAKE CITY, Utah -- In the wake of the lawsuit over same-sex marriage in Utah, researchers for the plaintiff have submitted a study of related historical trends. Their research finds ample precedent for same-sex unions. Project leader Harry Guy said that, in several historical societies, the process of bringing same-sex marriages into the mainstream went through similar phases as it has in the United States; first shunned, then tolerated, and finally accepted. Guy gave several examples of gay marriage throughout the ages.
Early documents found in the ancient city of Troy note how same-sex marriage was adopted in that city. Papers that experts believe date back to around 1200 BC show that the city had just become enlightened enough to legalize same-sex marriages over the hue and cry of nay-sayers who said that it threatened their society. Unfortunately, the long-term effects of this social experiment that, according to Guy, undoubtedly would have proved the veracity of the unions was cut short by a nasty war and a Trojan horse, that sadly wiped out the city.
The vast empire of Babylon also granted its citizens the liberty to marry either gender; a great leap forward for homosexual couples. During the reign of Hammurabi, this practice was strictly forbidden, but after his death, his successor, Samsu-iluna, allowed such marriages. According to historians, Samsu-iluna, probably was not a proponent of the unions, but gave the go-ahead anyway. He is reported to have been nagged day and night by proponents of the marriages, and just prior to signing the declaration, he confided to an aide, "The thing once called the silent love, is now the love that just won't shut up." But regardless, he did grant marriages to those with same-sex attractions and sanctioned them with legal authority. Sadly, not long after doing this, his nation was wiped off the map by the Hittites and once again the enduring nature of these types of unions cannot be totally validated, but Guy believes it would have been so.
Alexander The Great, a most wise and noble leader, was also said to have wanted to institute gay marriages following the conclusion of his many conquests. After noting plans to this effect in his personal journal, he sadly was overcome with a sudden fever and died unexpectedly. Guy lamented that this unfortunate coincidence deprived countless many of the fun times they might have enjoyed in a same-sex marriage.
Pompeii was also enlightened for its time in this regard, opined Guy. Not only did they accept that gays were predisposed towards their attractions, but they also concluded that pedophilia, rape, and incest were also things that simply couldn't be helped, and that those disposed to such actions had no choice in the matter. In the year 78, the city governing body allowed all such actions to be legal, and funded free counseling for those on whom these completely uncontrollable actions were initiated. The counseling was to be geared towards showing appreciation to those to whom these things happened. The charity of these noble recipients of uninvited coitus allowed "all citizens to express their individuality and natural freedoms", said the recently-discovered documents from the city. Another unfortunate coincidence occurred shortly thereafter when Mount Vesuvius erupted a few months later and buried the entire city in volcanic ash.
Guy then pointed to an additional example in the Mediterranean. In the year 360 Crete also saw that its citizens' lives would improve if it allowed homosexual couples to wed. Such marriages were condoned in the island state and enlightened thought on the matter had spread to neighboring lands by the year 365. In those years, the political influence of Christians in Crete had declined and the Pagans had gained the majority of the ruling seats. Pagans used their influence to convince other governments in the region to look into granting right of marriage to same-sex couples, and many had, including Libya, Southern Greece, Sicily, and Cyprus. Alexandria was also nearly ready to allow this practice. This area could have become the cradle of a world-wide social revolution in this regard were it not for an unfortunate earthquake that demolished every city in Crete, Southern Greece, and Cyprus; and created a tsunami that wiped out Alexandria and Libya.
Said Guy, "Clearly, the president for same-sex marriage throughout the annals of history is replete with examples. All who have adopted same-sex marriage were enlightened for their time, and deserve to be saluted. All those unfortunate coincidental tragedies that stifled the spread of this practice over the years sadden our hearts for the lost opportunities of the past, and strengthen our resolve to go forward in this day and age.
Like those who funded the Titanic and had such a belief in her stalwart nature, that they placed a banner on her gangplank that proclaimed, 'Not even God can sink this ship' we will boldly go forth and let no obstacle defeat us."
The Attorney General for the state of Utah, has not made any comments on these new findings.