UnNews:Russian influencer explains nude picture

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Every time you think, you weaken the nation —Moe Howard ✪ UnNews ✪ Saturday, December 21, 2024, 16:37:59 (UTC)
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1 March 2021

Warning: Some viewers may find this offensive. Naughty bits have been obscured.

DENPASAR, Bali. Alesya Kafelnikova has aroused mixed reactions with her recent photo shoot with a naked elephant in Bali. UnNews caught up with Russian born model and social media influencer Kafelnikova as she was arriving for another set of photos, this time with a nude orangutan.

UnNews: "Ms Kafelnikova, while you seem to be doing well with your latest series of pictures with naked animals, some people have accused you of exploiting the animals. How do you feel about this?"

Alesya Kafelnikova: "Oh, I really love animals, but I didn't realize how sensitive an elephant can be. Apparently it was really embarrassed."

UnNews: "How did you know it was embarrassed?"

AK: "It started hyperventilating. You see, elephants can't blush, but if you're really attuned to them like I am, you can sense how they're feeling by their breathing. It sounds like somebody who can't play a trombone."

UnNews: "Like a trombone?"

AK: "Sort of, you know BLAH BLAH BLAaaaaAH."

UnNews: That's a pretty good impression of a trombone.

AK: "Oh, thank you. I can do an ocarina, too, but not when there's an orangutan around."

UnNews: "How come?"

AK: "Apparently it sounds like an orangutan love call. Now just let me get behind the orangutan. Have to cover up the wrinkly bits."

UnNews: "Do you think that some people follow you just for the pictures of naked animals?"

DONALD!

AK: "I never thought of that. Do you think anyone would really do that?"

UnNews: "Hey, the orangutan can do an ocarina, too."

AK: "Oh, no, not again. No tickles, Donald. DONALD!"

UnNews: "He's really getting into this."

AK: "DONALD! I'll never be able to post this. Quick, the tranquilizer!"

UnNews: "Looks like we'll have to leave it here, folks. We'll get back to Ms Kafelnikova for another attempt at pretending to be a tabloid newspaper."

AK: "DONALD!"

Next week Kafelnikova will pose naked sitting on a termite mound just to show that she loves ALL wildlife.

Sources[edit]

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