UnNews:PETA grows increasingly violent, nukes Euthanasia
| Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother? | ✪ | UnNews | ✪ | Thursday, November 21, 2024, 18:24:59 (UTC) |
| PETA grows increasingly violent, nukes Euthanasia | 
|
8 July 2008
PETA, in an act of increasing violence, has taken drastic action in order to ensure that their views are successfully forced upon other lands by nuking the land of Euthanasia. In a great act of irony, one of he many forest fires travelled a path along te so that the scorched trees managed to spell "killer". PETA, a country long known for having an incredibly low amount wild animal population due to their extensive "mercy killing" program, have stated that they never gave any orders to commit the act, but was instead due to the work of a neo-facists terrorist group known as the "Animal Liberation Front". A spokesman for the group released a tape today praising the bombing as an act of compassion for the love of animals. Although his face a masked in the tape, it it belived to be Jerry Hussien Vlasak, a man wanted for his crimes against humanity such as car bombings and cooking with dirt. It is unknown how the civilian population will cope with the radiation in the meantime. When reached for comment, the only response we recieved was: "Brains....'BRAAAAAINSSSSS'." This answer was unanimous amog the interviewed. In other news, the recentl freed hostages are now being returned as they are the ones "we got by accident instead" as stated by the Pentagon.
Sources[edit]
- Ian Pediger "PETA nukes Euthanasia". Lies Incorporated, July 08, 2009