UnNews:Newsmakers turn to repeat themes

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29 December 2014

Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell vowed to avoid new ideas well into 2015 and 2016.

EARTH -- The planet's newsmakers have taken advantage of the end-of-year tendency to serve up trite lists of the "best stories of 2014" and are repeating popular stories, hoping for inclusion. In the news today:

  • Another Indonesian airliner disappeared without a trace and nobody knew whether it crashed or was captured by terrorists.
  • Greece's government collapsed again and new elections were scheduled, raising new fears that the result might disrupt Greece's willingness to wreck its own economy and live off perpetual loans from German banks.
  • Another cruise ship ran aground off Italy and was abandoned, women and captains first.
  • Spain issued new bonds, largely to pay off the old bonds, and economists predicted that 2015 would be another year of dynamic growth, at least in the lending business.
  • The Russian ruble took another dive, and Vladimir Putin diverted attention by naming another foreign country that might usefully be reunited into a "federation."
  • In the United States, President Obama pulled more policy decisions out of a bodily orifice, and the opposition in sudden unwanted control of both houses of Congress redoubled its vow to "reach across the aisle" to avoid criticism before the 2016 elections, in which it hopes to run another Bush against another Clinton.
  • Racist white policemen kept killing unarmed black children who had done nothing wrong, except grope for the officer's gun. Special Presidential Adviser on Racial Healing Al Sharpton said that a suitable remedy would be to murder policemen, and a volunteer came forward in New York, though unfortunately failing to ensure that his victims were white, and killing himself before Mr. Obama could lead a spellbound nation in listening to and evaluating his grievances.

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