UnNews:Miley Cyrus out at Tata Motors

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Straight talk, from straight faces ✪ UnNews ✪ Tuesday, November 5, 2024, 08:19:59 (UTC)
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24 October 2016

Fan favorite Mr. Ra-ta-ta-ta declined enquiries from this news organisation regarding whether he has tats on his ta-tas.

MUMBAI, India -- Tata Sons have abruptly replaced Miley Cyrus, who is known under a slightly different name in India, with an up-and-coming performer with the stage name of Ra-ta-ta-ta.

The corporation gave no reason for the change. Mr. Ra-ta-ta-ta was at the head of the company before he reached the age of 75 and let Ms. Cyrus take over in 2012. Board-room sources say Directors were concerned about the way the Walt Disney Corporation sexualises its child stars, though Ms. Cyrus never once showed her ta-tas at Tata's annual meetings.

Mr. Ra-ta-ta-ta greeted the boardroom with a passable rendition of Bob Dylan's My Back Pages, crooning, "I was so much older then \ I'm younger than that now." As Mr. Dylan suddenly has a Nobel Prize, along with Al Gore and Barack Obama, it is surely only a matter of time before a re-focused Ms. Cyrus gets hers by way of consolation.

The company owns Jaguar, Land Rover, and Tetley Tea, which it acquired on the mistaken assumption that it was named for the car company. Also Takata, probably, which manufactures the exploding air bags in the Tatas.

The company has organised a search committee for a permanent replacement, passing over Dick Cheney for a role. Mr. Ra-ta-ta-ta said, "The last time he did that, he merely picked himself."

Regarding Mr. Ra-ta-ta-ta's promotion, Lady Ga-ga had no comment.

Sources[edit]

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