UnNews:McDonald's campaign to change dictionary definition of "hamburger"

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
Every time you think, you weaken the nation —Moe Howard ✪ UnNews ✪ Wednesday, November 27, 2024, 02:14:59 (UTC)
McDonald's campaign to change dictionary definition of "hamburger" UnNews Logo Potato.png

22 March 2007

Lorrain Homer says McDonald's feel the definition of "hamburger" is "out of date, inaccurate and bad for business."

The UK arm of McDonald's is planning a campaign to have the dictionary definition of "hamburger" changed.

The Oxford English Dictionary defines "hamburger" to be "Ground meat, usually beef, shaped into large patties, and sautéed, broiled or grilled."

But Lorraine Homer from McDonald's said the firm felt the definition was "out of date, inaccurate and bad for business".

McDonald's plans a "high-profile public petition" this year to get it changed.

“We believe that it is out of date, out of touch with reality and most importantly it is having a negative impact on our talented, committed shareholders,” wrote Jim Cantaloupe, chief people officer in northern Europe for McDonald’s, in a letter seen by UnNews seeking support for the petition. “It’s time the dictionary definition of “Hamburger” changed to something more indicative of the way McDonald's focus groups think about their delicious McDonald's hamburgers. I would recommend 'A delicious, healthy and filling meal as sold by McDonald's restaurants, great for eating on the move or when you're hungry.'”

Fairhurst says that in a survey of one hundred customers, more than ninety-five percent conceded that McDonald's hamburgers are at least two out of "delicious", "healthy" or "filling". Furthermore, nearly eighty percent agreed that the new definition described McDonalds hamburgers more accurately than the Oxford definition. Many attributed this to the removal of the word "meat".

McDonald's lawyers are also considering petitioning for a redefinition of "Cow Testicles" and "E. coli bacteria" in order to remove the "negative consumer impact" that the current dictionary entry has.

Sources[edit]

Retrieved from "https://uncyclopedia.com/w/index.php?title=UnNews:McDonald%27s_campaign_to_change_dictionary_definition_of_%22hamburger%22&oldid=5580921"