UnNews:Lord Voldemort to be expelled from House of Lords
| We have met the enemy, and he is us | ✪ | UnNews | ✪ | Monday, December 23, 2024, 00:05:59 (UTC) |
| Lord Voldemort to be expelled from House of Lords | 
|
17 March 2022
LONDON, United Kingdom -- British-Russian peer Lord Voldemort is in danger of losing his seat in the House of Lords. The controversial peer from Russia has been accused of buying British Conservative Party politicians to gain influence and direct policy. Voldemort is said to have received his orders from Evil Elf Dobbie to target British Prime Minister Boris Johnson.
These 'encouragements' to influence Johnson included free holidays, free vodka and a brand new wife. Johnson resisted pressure by British spy chief James Bond to stop taking these 'gifts'. Instead, Johnson gave Voldemort a peerage with the right to sit in the House of Lords.
Johnson defended his action on Twitter:
 |
| These so-called evil chappies are lot more fun to hang out with than some sanctimonious politicians you find on the left. I should know, as I have been hanging around with them a lot. Being a prime minister is no fun if you can't slip off now again and have raucous fun. Those @HarryPotter lefties have got @Voldemort all wrong. |
Political insiders say that Johnson will hang on to his friendship with Lord Voldemort, as the latter has some interesting secret camera footage of the former with women. Voldemort said it would be a 'shame' if any of this got out.
Sources[edit]
- Staff "Johnson's links with Russian oligarch". BBC, March 16, 2022