UnNews:Global warming, found to be a lie!

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We have met the enemy, and he is us UnNews Monday, July 22, 2024, 07:28:59 (UTC)

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19 May 2012

Get your official "it's a hoax" badges while they are cheap!

Washington, USA -- In a shocking conference in the great nation's capital, what the tin-foiled hat nutjobs have been saying for years was finally confirmed to be true, global warning does not exist!

This came as quite a blow to the governments of the world which planned to use Global Warning as a means of introducing never before seen taxes that would surely revert the crisis by simply taking all the hard working citizens' money. Not only that, but Obama's approval rating has dipped lower than the IQ of a Yorkshireman! His victory in the next election being very doubtful, he has called an urgent press conference to resolve the situation.

But the problems don't end there at the US government, it has spread to the renewable energy sector which became redundant overnight, leaving 4 million lazy Americans out of a job which has in turn caused a major spike in both the unemployment and suicide rates for this quarter. Riots, violence and "hate to say I told you so" demonstrations have become widespread through the mid-west. People who use solar panels for their power have been promptly and overwhelmingly been pointed and laughed at by all Americans.

The problem of civil disobedience has spread to most countries in the world, with uprisings in twenty European nations to date thus far, and five more governments on the way out. It has also seen countries like China, Mexico and Australia playing it old-school by shooting on the rioters for cheap laughs.

So much for climate change being a problem. In this viewer's mind, we should all be happy it's been declared a hoax so you rich snobs with your beach side cottages don't have to worry your pretty little heads about being inundated in five years time. All of you need to shut the fuck up and stop rioting and go do something useful like get a fucking job.

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This article features first-hand journalism by an UnNews correspondent.