UnNews:Evidence of Yeti's existence remains elusive

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search

Every time you think, you weaken the nation —Moe Howard UnNews Tuesday, June 25, 2024, 04:46:59 (UTC)

Evidence of Yeti's existence remains elusive UnNews Logo Potato.png

22 December 2010

Doctor Godfrey presents his plaster casting of what might be a Yeti footprint, maybe.

LONDON, England -- An expedition to the Himalayas returned Wednesday after finding no physical or material evidence proving the existence of the mythical Yeti.

The expedition, financed by the History Channel, was the sixth such excursion undertaken since 2007, and one of nearly twenty sent to the region at the behest of a basic cable station since 2001.

Though the seven-man team failed to bring back any hard scientific evidence of any sort at all whatsoever, Doctor Godfrey Redding, the leader of the expedition and a native Englishman, remained optimistic. “Though we didn’t find any convincing or conclusive material evidence, we did see several vaguely-footprint-shaped impressions in a patch of mud at 12,000 feet” Redding said, presenting a plaster casting of the impression to our photographers as he did so. “This is the most compelling finding since the 2008 expedition financed by the Discovery Channel, which found bushes with berries that looked as though something that eats berries had eaten from them,” the expedition leader continued.

The 2010 History Channel Himalayan Yeti expedition was one of six cryptozoology-related expeditions financed by the cable channel this year, other notable tours including yet another sonar scan of Scotland’s Loch Ness that yielded no evidence corroborating the existence of the sea monster that supposedly lives there and the twelve man Mongolian Death Worm expedition, which unsuccessfully combed the Gobi desert for five weeks in search of a giant worm monster that purportedly spits acid and produces an electrical charge with its body.

Despite the utter lack of results, the History Channel, Discovery Channel, and other nominally educational cable stations remain undeterred, and have a full slate of crytid expeditions scheduled for the coming year. “Though we failed to find anything this time around, I’m really excited for this coming spring, when my team and I will be working with the gentleman from Ghosthunters to search for Extraterrestrial Ghost Bigfoot in the American Northwest,” said Redding. “Though the expedition is already facing criticism, I’m confident that we’ll come out with something conclusive.”


UnNews Logo Potato.png
This article features first-hand journalism by an UnNews correspondent.