UnNews:Embarrassment for Labour after PMQ gaffe

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The face of the Labour Party, missing yesterday but miraculously found again.
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3 July 2013

LONDON, England -- There was embarrassment aplenty for the Labour Party yesterday in the Commons, after a mistake by the parliamentary private secretary to Ed Miliband led to a particularly shambolic Prime Minister's Questions. The junior aide had been preoccupied writing notes for Mr. Miliband, Leader of the Opposition, and forgot about the man himself. For the first half-hour of the session Labour had no-one to ask questions, leaving Mr. Galloway, MP, of the Respect Party, to ask an increasingly ridiculous series of questions on nuclear energy and the Iraq War. It was only when a conservative back-bencher took a trip to the Commons' toilets that it became apparent the aide had left him there. According to one source, he was "just sitting on a sink, legs swinging, and staring into space". A whole team of Labour under-secretaries, permanent private under-secretaries and spin doctors, who had been searching for him throughout the Lords' rifle range and the Commons' library, was then alerted. After his unceremonious entrance, led in by four assistants, he managed a few witty retorts (read from a script), a pithy remark (read off his hand), and a question about what was for dinner (not planned). To the ridicule of the government benches, he was then led away for a speech to the unions.

Did NOT soil the sink.

Ed Miliband's deputy, Harriet Harman, has since answered questions from our reporters as to how this situation arose. She said: "Of course Ed receives help to prepare for Prime Minister's Questions. A team of aides is employed to help him, as with the Conservatives. There's no surprise there. Unfortunately, on this occasion, a secretary tried to work on his script whilst taking him for his toilet break, and forgot about him. It's also somewhat unfortunate that the aide left before pulling Ed's trousers back up, leading to the people discovering him to think he was defecating in the sink. I'd like to put those rumours to rest. That did NOT happen. We will learn from our mistakes, and in future Ed will be accompanied everywhere by at least two people, minimising the risk of him being forgotten again."

A number of MPs have speculated over his future as Labour Party leader, saying he is "a little too clever" for the populace to understand, and as such may be an election liability. It must also be noted that he may face disciplinary measures since it has become known the paper that he looks at whilst talking is a script, and not blank, like most other MPs use. Reading from a script is still expressly forbidden.


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