UnNews:Carnage at NASA from office ban on self-defense

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
The news outlet with approval higher than Congress ✪ UnNews ✪ Sunday, December 22, 2024, 07:58:59 (UTC)
Carnage at NASA from office ban on self-defense UnNews Logo Potato.png

25 April 2007

Charlton Heston in his NASA days.
With UnNews guest editorial columnist Charlton Heston.

JOHNSON SPACE CENTER, Houston, - On Friday, an employee went "postal" in an office at the Johnson Space Center, He was upset over a poor review.

We at the NRA recently attempted to help change NASA rules about guns at work, but a proposal to give employees the right to carry handguns on site died in the boardroom without a shot being fired. Less people would have been shot if workers routinely carried on site. Just imagine if workers were armed. We no longer need to imagine what will happen when they are not armed.

This shows what happens when the working man is unarmed. The rules against concealed carry did not stop this individual from obtaining and using one. Would things have been different had a worker or manager been able to shoot back? You're damned right they would! Allow a man to protect himself and he will. It isn't rocket science. People need to go to work without fear and a weapon provides that.

When I worked at Cape Canaveral during the filming of Planet Of The Apes, I knew several co-workers that carried on a regular basis. Most were female office workers. One brought a Browning .380 to work every day. I felt safe knowing my co-workers were armed. And my gosh they were hot with it. I know they felt safe because they had the power to protect both themselves and others.

Guns also enhance workplace relations. Some fat guy from Solid Rocket Development will sure as hell think twice before grabbing the last three Krispy Kremes with hungry people carrying Glocks watching him. An armed workplace is a polite workplace.

The Board of Directors is not responsible for this carnage — but they are responsible for keeping their employees from having the option to defend themselves. I'd urge a far more somber board to encourage workers to carry their weapons in the workplace. The lives saved may belong to someone dear to them.

Remember, as Americans you have a right to bear arms, and in these violent times, a need too!

God Bless America!

Charlton Heston,


Sources[edit]

Retrieved from "https://uncyclopedia.com/w/index.php?title=UnNews:Carnage_at_NASA_from_office_ban_on_self-defense&oldid=5359934"