UnNews:Award for Dutch Entertainment Industries Watchdog

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12 June 2007

The Brown Fingers Award that was Awarded to BREIN earlier today

The Netherlands, The Hague -- Today the MPA ( Movie Picture Association) presented an award to the Dutch piracy watchdog BREIN for their 2006 / 2007 participation in the war on torrent.

This award, The two brown fingers award is presented to any industry minion that had some degree of success in enforcing or helping develop piracy law or making personal privacy just a little less likely. All though the dutch wing of this global initiative is not quite as successful as its American counterparts, it has claimed several major victories for content owners, copyright holders, blood sucking leeches and sponsors.

We have not yet sued or settled with any children under 10, geriatrically challenged persons, or grieving families of deceased people who were suspected of copyright infringement before dying under mysterious circumstances, but we are doing our bit.

Asked how they managed to get on the juries short-list and subsequently win the Brown Arm (as it is locally known), a BREIN spokesman reveiled that it is in fact the result of a successful media strategy assessment. Starting with taking down some trivial local torrent-sites, whining, bitching and complaining ad nauseam at local ISP's and content providers, then graduating into abusing the legal system to bully users and companies with complicated frivolous legal procedures, the campaign progressed into wearing down small-time DVD selling marketplaces, combined with a steady barrage of FUD and irritating infomercials. All this on behalf of the movie companies of the world.

We are all proud of our part in protecting the big movie houses, movie stars and in particular Britney Spears against personal privacy eh, Piracy I mean.

The organization BREIN, which acronym stands for Bullies Recruited ( by the ) Entertainment Industry ( chapter, the ) Netherlands, has been active for a number of years in Belgium and the Netherlands. A fierce and ruthless campaign was laid out to educate people on how watching a ripped DVD or listening to a stolen Linkin Park song will get you a one way ticket to hell, but not before they themselves prosecute you and have you pay thousands of euros to movie bosses until you die ( and subsequently go to hell ).


This most recent recent praise has in turn raised the volume of criticism that has been silenced claiming that small industry sponsor organizations are, in fact, nothing more than ordinary bullies, ruffians and hired guns for that industry. Rumors are their action has nothing to do with copyright protection, nor with protecting the financial interest of those making do at lower profit levels, notably the lesser known and independent artists. In response to this criticism, the aforementioned BREIN spokesman reacted (and we quote)

This award SHOWS that we do good work after all. And if it does not it shows we are pretty good in FUD. And if you do not like that, mister, we WILL GET YOUR IP ADRES FROM YOUR ISP.

Other Awards[edit]

  • Head Up Your Ass Award ( runner up 2006 )
  • Enlarged Hole Price ( 2nd place 2004,2005,2006, nominated for 2007 )
  • The Golden Lady Justice Hanging from a Dead Tree Award. ( nominated for 2007 )

See Also[edit]