UnNews:Australia disconnects Tasmania for good
| We distort, you deride | ✪ | UnNews | ✪ | Monday, March 31, 2025, 17:45:59 (UTC) |
| Australia disconnects Tasmania for good | 
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1 March 2022
TASMANIA, Australia -- With the world distracted by the invasion of Ukraine, Australia has disconnected itself from Tasmania for good.
Already physically detached and separated by water, Tassie is still considered part of Australia, despite numerous petitions over the years. Prime Minister Scott Morrison enlisted the help of a shark earlier today to cut (or, more accurately, bite) the cables that send internet and mobile phone service from the mainland to Tasmania. In response, Tasmanian officals sent a carrier pigeon to its closest neighbour, Victoria, but it never arrived. Reports say that it stopped for a drink, then drowned.
Even after the Australian government confirmed its role, some believe it was the work of a third party — with China being the main suspect. In any case, the people of Australia no longer have to deal with their equivalent of Alabama.
The reconnect team is on its way to lay new cable to reconnect the Tasmanians to the internet, but are having trouble finding it. If they know one thing for sure, it's that it is somewhere south. New Zealand has not yet made a statement about the situation, which is to be expected, as they have nothing to do with it.
Sources[edit]
- Josh Taylor "Internet and mobile services down across Tasmania after two cables cut". The Guardian, March 1, 2022
- Zoe Samios "Tasmanians without internet, mobile coverage after cables cut". The Sydney Morning Harold, March 1, 2022
- "Tasmanian internet and phone services down in 'major' outage across much of the state". ABC, March 1, 2022