UnNews:Anna Nicole Smith dead, other stuff also probably happening
| The news outlet with approval higher than Congress | ✪ | UnNews | ✪ | Tuesday, November 5, 2024, 12:15:59 (UTC) |
| Anna Nicole Smith dead, other stuff also probably happening | 
|
23 February 2007
CALIFORNIA, USA - Prestegious news sources confirm that, Anna Nicole-Smith is, in fact, dead.
In the current aftermath of this entirely socially relevant bimbo's croaking, a judge has ruled in favor of her burial in the Bahamas (and in favor of "I still would hit it"). The great American media, with its upmost journalistic integrity, has committed to keeping its EYE ON THE BALL on this one!
It has been discovered that the wealthy hustler had an opiate in her refrigerator! And I bet she even overdosed on that opiate, and that's why the miserable and balls-rich bimbo passed away! OMG! It is predicted this story may continue for months, as finding out the penile origins of her newly shat-out daughter is a pressing news story which may take some time to come to its final result.
Other stuff is probably going on in the world too, with bombs, or state-sponsored torture, or something like that.
In related news, Mother Nature's attempt to maintain cosmic balance resulted in the birth of a retarded horse.
Sources[edit]
- CNN "Custody for Anna's Baby! OMG!". CNN, February 23, 2007
- CNN "Whats gun happen to the bitch's corpse?!?!?!?!". CNN, February 22, 2007
- CNN "Druggie Bimbo gave Fetus Drugs? R U 4 Serious?". CNN, February 22, 2007
- CNN "The Concerned, Intelligent American Public Speak!". CNN, February 22, 2007
- CNN "How to use a Shit Metaphor, to set up a Meaningless Story!". CNN, February 22, 2007
- CNN "THIS Bimbo Didn't Like Speed or Cocaine!". CNN, February 21, 2007
- CNN "Why Stupid People Gave a Shit". CNN, February 19, 2007
- CNN "Anna's Body Goes Through Expectable, Routine Post-Rogor Mortis Procedure". CNN, February 17, 2007