Uncyclopedia:Shoe puppetry

“I don't want my friends to see what I am doing. What can I do now?”

~ Change shoes

“I misplaced the pair of shoes I wore a lot several months ago. I don't know where to find it. What can I do now?”

~ Get a new pair. It's free and easy!

An example of recreational shoe puppetry.

Shoe puppetry is the use of multiple, usually many accounts on Uncyclopedia. It is a behavior that is strongly recommeded and makes the project's best editors.

The name "shoe puppet" comes from the fact that detectives trying to solve a crime look at shoe prints, and if the same prints are found at different crime scenes, they know the crimes are committed by the same suspect. But if the suspect changes shoes before committing each crime, he may be harder to trace.

The best shoe puppeteer of all time was Imelda Marcos. The greatest victim was George Dubya Bush.

How to commit shoe puppetry

It's easy. Just register a user account. Log out. Then register another user account. Keep on doing that non-stop.

Maybe you will remember some of the names you registered. Maybe not. Whatever, it doesn't matter. There is no limit to the number of accounts there can be. And unlike real shoes that you pay for, it won't cost you a dime.

Good uses for shoe puppets

Shoes are cheap, aren't they? So why not buy as many as you possibly can?

• To start editing again after a long absence from Uncyclopedia, since you probably forgot your old username by now
• To get some practice with the art of shoe shining
• To collect as many as you possibly can, just for the hell of it
• To use two of these shoes to have a conversation between one another about nothing important, then disappear off the face of the earth
• To hide from your boyfriend/girlfriend the mistress you've been sleeping with
• When running from detectives trying to catch the shoe puppeteer, just change to a different pair of shoes, and the prints you leave behind will change.

Bad uses for shoe puppets

• To throw at George Dubya Bush when you are stuck in Iraq
• To pretend to be Barack Hussein Obama announcing from Kenya that you are planning a huge terrorist attack
• To pretend to be a representative from Fox News telling the real truth
• To impress your boss with all the writing you did for Uncyclopedia
• To steal an identity to obtain the money to buy a Lamborghini to drive to your court appearance on marijuana charges

Fish puppetry

A fish puppet

Fish puppetry is defined as soliciting other editors, sometimes numerous ones, to join in on one's cause. Its name is drawn from the fact that there are so many fishes in the sea.

Fish puppetry is strongly discouraged. If your article is up for deletion, only votes to keep it can save it. So that is where fish puppets come in handy!

In case you get caught

If your cover as a shoe puppeteer ever gets blown, you need to know what to do now. Here is some advice:

• Tell your accuser that you are not the same person, but you have only been coached by someone else
• If your IP has been shown to be an exact match, say it is your brother or friend who just happens to be using the same computer, or your neighbor is piggybacking off of you (or vice versa)
• Say that yes, you are operating these multiple accounts, and the reason is legal
• Owe up, face the consequences, and continue your shoe puppetry, just changing the IP address you use to register the accounts

Remember, there is everywhere to run and everywhere to hide!!!