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Tumbleweed (t-weed, or tweed for short) is the street name of a highly dangerous and addictive form of marijuana, which is processed in underground left-wing laboratory centrifuges somewhere near Miami.


In 1983, whilst attempting to develop the long-sought cure for pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis, the legendary scientific duo Cheech Marin and Thomas Chong accidentally dropped $500,000 worth of raw cannabis seeds, a fresh bag of fertilizer, a small packet of yeast, and a lit match into a Maytag spin dryer. Within a few seconds, a giant leafy life form emerged which proceeded to destroy the greater Los Angeles area with vast clouds of delightfully intoxicating fumes. The newly-hatched tumbleweed then quickly took over the western parts of the United States, Tijuana, and Wyoming by undercutting the prices of most of the local drug dealers, thereby forcing them out of the formerly lucrative business and into the warm tender arms of Wal-Mart. Unfortunately for the remaining dealers, not only were their former rivals new workers, but also the whole corporation was under new management (guess who by) and was now selling Tweed on a global scale. Mass hysteria followed, itself shortly followed by mass death.

Nutrition Facts[edit]

Tumbleweed is five hundred times as powerful as regular marijuana and only half the calories. Extreme caution must be exercised when doing t-weed, as occasionally a rolled joint will unexpectedly sprout dozens of intertwined fibrous strands and instantly wrap themselves tightly about the victim's neck.

See also[edit]