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“That's quite indeed butt a long word.”

~ Captain Obvious on Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis

“What is the long word?”

~ Captain Oblivious on Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis

Indeed it is, captain. Indeed it is. Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis is the third longest word in the english language. More importantly, it is a form of lung disease caused by inhaling microscopic particles of dust that have come from a volcano (more commonly known as silicosis, which takes the whole point away from even having the word). As if that wasn't pretentious enough, it wasn't created so that smart people in white coats could save lives by recognising a very rare type of disease caught by inhaling microscopic particles of dust that have come from a volcano. Oh no. It was created by the chairman of the National Puzzle League, just so he could say that he'd invented the longest word ever. That fool! Unfortunatley, his plan for spelling-mistake based plans for world domination failed, because no one in living history has used this word, except when saying Oh! Look at this really long word! Let's try and say it! Hahahaha! And so on.

So, crisis over, then?[edit]

Here we see Mr. Dumbloser attempting to rename Kryptonite. The fool.

No, not really. Once Mr. Puzzle had failed to take over the world using a long word, many evil geniuses decided it would be a perfect way to pass the time until the next James Bond movie. As a result, the most evil people of all time joined together to form a group whose sole purpose was to create a really, really long word. These people were all well-known for their ability to create long words, including:

Mary Poppins, and I think we all know why, don't we?

Polititicians, for creating the word Antidisestablishmentarianism. Mind you, what don't we blame polititicians for?

Shakespeare, who wrote the following in a poem or something once:

“honorificabilitudinitatibus: thou art easier”

~ Shakespeare on His own poem

Seriously, what was he thinking?! Mind you, the next line was:

“swallowed than a flap-dragon.”

~ Shakespeare on His own poem

So maybe he was just going slightly crazy at that point in his life. The poem's name was 'Costard', which is kind of like 'Custard. Mmm. Custard.


A common victim of custard.

“The besteth poemeth thateth I evereth writeth on ye olde custardeth and shit”

~ Shakespeare on his 'Ode to ye olde custardeth and shit' poem

Oh, sorry, I'm going off topic here. But you have to admit, custard is very tasty. Shakespeare thinks so, or he wouldn't have name a poem after it! Sort of.

Well, now I feel silly.


Yes yes. Anyway, this group then proceeded to come up with the longest word that anyone has ever thought of ever. In english, at least. But the chances are, if you're reading this, that you speak english, and as a result are only interested in the longest word in the english language, and not, say, the peruvian language. Is there a peruvian language? I wouldn't know, I'm ignorant. anyways custard is good

Tell us the word, then[edit]

Oh, alright then. The really long word that the evil group came up with was:

Methionylglutaminylarginyltyrosylglutamylserylleucylphenylalanylalanylglutaminylleucyllysylglutamylarginyl lysylglutamylglysylalanylphenylalanylvalylprolylphenylalanylyalylthreonylleucylglcycylaspartylprolylglicyl isoleucyglutamylglutaminlserylleucyllysylisoleucylaspartylthreonylleucylisoleucylglutamylalanylglyclyalany laspartylalanylleucyglutamylleucylgluycylisoleucylpr oluylphenylalanyserylaspartyprolylleucelalanylaspartylglycylprolylthreonylisolleucyglutaminylasparaginyl alanythreonylleucylarginylalanylphenylalanylalanylalanylglycylvalylthreonylprolylalanylglutaminylcyste inylphenylalanylglglutamylmethionylleucyalanylleucylisoleucylarginylglutaminyllysylhistidylprolyuthreonyli soleucylprolylisoleucylglycylleucylleucylmethionyltyrosylal anylasbaraginylleucylvalylphenylalanylsparaginyyllysylglycylisoleucylaspartylglutamylphenylalany lyltyrosylalanylglutaminylcysteinylglutamyllysylvalylglycylvalylspartylserylvalylleucylvallalanylaspartylvalylprolylvalvlglutam inylglutamylserylalanylprolylphenylalalrginylglutaminylalanylalanylleucylarginylhistidylasp araginylvalylalalprolylisoleucylphenylalanylisoleucylcysteinylprolyprolylaspartylalanylaspartylaspartyspartyleucyll eucylarginylglutaminylisoleucylalanylseryltyroslglycylarginylglycyltyrosylthreonyltyrosylleucylleucylserylarginlalany lglycylvalylthreonylglycylalanylglutamylasparaginylarginylanylalanylleucylprolylleucylaspaaginylhistidylleucylvalylalanyllysylleucylly sylglutamyltyrosylasparagimylalanylalanyprolylprolylleucylglutaminylglycylphenlalanylglycylisoleyucylserylal anylprolylaspartylglutaminylvalyllysylalanylalanylisoleucylalspartylalanylglycylalanylalanylglycylalanylasoleucylse rylglycylserylalanylisoleucylbalyllysylisoleucylisoleucylglutamylglu taminylhistidylasparaginylisoleucylglutamylpronylglutamyllysylmethionylluecylalanylalanyoe ucyllysylvalylphenylalanylvalylglutamilylprolylmethionyllysylalanylal anylthreonylarginylserine.


By the way; it means an addiction to extremely long words that causes you to recite very long words, before collapsing and losing your vocal cords. Then after a person wakes up, they stretch until their bones can't resist the tension and brake. Then you die. It has another meaning; gigantic atomic bomb with weird chemicals.

The aftermath[edit]

It seems someone has attempted to actually SAY this word.

After this word was created, the group started to casually slip it into conversations with other people, claiming that it was the full name of some sort of metal/chemical thingie. The use of this word in a sentence is fatal to the person listening, as it causes their ears to complode (A rare form of explosion combined with spontaneous combustion. Whew.). Anyone trying to say this word without following the strict safety procedures will die, as their throats will complode.

Eventually, the characters from Micheal Carrol's excellent 'New Heroes' novel decided to end the suffering and near-war brought on by this word by making everyone on the planet deaf. I have no idea how they did this. I wanted to ask them, but every time I try I go deaf and cannot hear anything. I think that has something to do with them, those crafty fictional characters. They could have used their powers to save Mouse in the first Matrix film, yet they squander their powers by helping humanity.

Hang on, that's not right. Isn't helping humanity a good thing? Oh, just forget it.

Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis is the longest word in the English dictionary. Other words are longer, but they are not officially an English word because there is no use for them. Only an asshole wouldn't know that.