Stoke City F.C.
Stoke City F.C are a professional rugby team who currently compete in the Barclay's Premier League. They play in red and white and their logo is "Ut Crura Franger".
History[edit]
Stoke City F.C. was founded in 1915 and was initially called the The King's Own Tackle Regiment. It was originally started as a training camp for WWI conscripts to begin their training to defeat the sausage munching Fritz. Their training consisted mostly of boxing, running into walls and hacking at anything resembling a ball or a leg. In 1917, they single handedly won the Battle Of Passchendaele, after General Sir C.S.P. Bigglesthwicke suggested booting a leather ball from the Allied trenches and into the German trenches. The Germans were simply decimated, and it was from here that the name Stoke City F.C was officially given. This audacious move was hailed as tactical genius, but unfortunately it proved to be the last time that Stoke F.C. have won anything away from home.
From the 70's and onwards Stoke have had numerous problems with hooliganism. On 4th April 1983 Stoke were scheduled to play Manchester City at home in a Premier League fixture. However the stadium was virtually empty, as Stoke fans had preferred to riot outside alongside the Stoke players. Even though Stoke had failed to field any of the 11 required players, officials decided to let the game continue. Stoke City still managed to win the game 1-0, prompting the then City manager John Benson to say "I don't know what happened, we simply crumbled".
Manager[edit]
Stoke are currently managed by Mark Hughes, who was hired due to his prowess and financial sense in the transfer market, who took over from Tony Pulis. After Pulis left he immediately became favourite for either of the vacant Real Madrid and Paris St. Germain managerial positions.
Florentino Pérez was quoted in The Daily Mail as having said "I am very excited by the prospect of having Tony at Madrid, the Hoof 'n' Run style of play is very attractive". The Daily Mail then found this story and ran with it except publishing it with more made up quotes, forgetting that it was them who broke the story in the first place.
The footballing world was shocked after Tony was beaten to both positions by relative outsiders Laurent Blanc and Carlo Ancelotti.
Players[edit]
Stoke have been known to sign "set-piece specialists" such as Rory Delap, who was signed by Pulis for his throw-ins after he spotted him hit a policeman with a pint glass from 65 metres away after a Carlisle United match. With his ball cleaning abilities and ability to throw the ball from his own half into the oppositions area he impressed Stoke crowds immediately.
Their signings have been characterised by using the Football Manager database with the search parameters of Height >6'4", Aggression and Strength >18 and Tackling <4.
Stoke have a vast array of world class players, including ex-kickboxing champion Charlie "your face is my ashtray" Adam, Robert "gets referred to as The Big German in every match" Huth, Peter "Tiny" Crouch and Jermaine "I can't believe he's played Champions League football" Pennant.
Fans[edit]
Stoke's fans are often stereotyped as inbred, illiterate, knuckle-dragging, toothless mutant simpletons. These stereotypes are not completely accurate; they are also thuggish in nature as well.
Style of Play[edit]
Stoke's style of play has often been controversial, once being labelled "boring, dirty and downright disgraceful". Tony Pulis has refused to apologise for these comments. Regardless of these criticisms, Stoke fans enjoy the football they play, frequently giving their performances "3 thumbs up!".
Their philosophy seems to be "38 0-0 draws means a guaranteed 38 points at the end of the season".
Their "physical" methods has lead to the UN to classify Stoke's 18 yard box as a "designated warzone".
Honours[edit]
Royal Rumble: '94, '95, '99, '03-07', '12
Heineken Cup: '98, '99, '08
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