Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/September 9

September 9: Day of the Truffles Triffids a.k.a. The Strongest Day

• 9 CE - Cirno is born.
• 1000 - During the Battle of Svolder, King Olaf I of Norway falls overboard and disappears into the Baltic Sea. He is not seen again until Olaf II: Electric Boogaloo is released on video later that year.
• 1087 - William the Conqueror dies. About time, too.
• 1312 - Paracelsus invents redundancy.
• 1313 - Paracelsus invents redundancy. Again.
• 1828 - Leo Tolstoy is born. How boring is that? Not as much as the birth of Clinton Fisk.
• 1839 - John Herschel takes the first glass plate photograph. Later photographs are of a glass cup, glass saucer, and a glass eye.
• 1850 - California is admitted into the USA, admittedly.
• 1944 - Bulgaria is occupied liberated by Soviet troops.
• 1962 - Triffids land in Cornwall. Their penchant for BDSM quickly earns them elevation to the peerage as they eat their way through Wales and the West Country.
• 1967 - The spork is invented. Clueless types starve by the thousands trying to use it as a knife.
• 1971 - Triffids help to elect a giant gherkin as prime minister; it will stand over and oversee London forever.
• 1976 - Mao Tse Tung passes away; sadly his dream of murdering more of his own people than Stalin is left unrealized.
• 1988 - In the most intense fighting of the GI Joe-Transformers War, the Autobot-Joe Alliance and Union of Decepticon and Cobra Forces see heavy casualties in the Battle of the Backyard.
• 2009 - Being 9/9/09, Upside-Down Satan appears, only to shortly die of spinal injuries.
• 2999 - Cirno reaches full power to become the strongest of all gensokyo. Not even Suika, the underage drinking oni, can beat her.