Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/September 18

September 18: God's Birthday. Happy birthday, God!

• Infinity BCE - God is born.
• 13 trillion BCE - God receives the universe as a birthday present and breaks it six days later.
• 3200 BCE - S'dhkai, a Canaanite, is struck down by lightning when he forgets God's birthday.
• 2500 KFC - Israelites hold a birthday party for God, mistake him for a gold cow.
• 1 CE - God has His first child... with hilarious results!
• 1000 - God is scheduled to make a special birthday speech to the world, but cancels at the last minute.
• 1609 - Gordon Edgeway and George Bennett are fused together in a nuclear fusion reaction; the resulting matter is named Gordon Bennett.
• 1873 - The Panic of 1873 begins.
• 1874 - The Drinking Binge of 1874 begins.
• 1875 - The Mother of All Headaches begins.
• 1997 - National referendum in Wales - an overwhelming majority (87.13%) vote yes on a motion to send out for pizza.
• 1998 - Jenna Jameson beats off stiff competition to take an Oscar for her part in 7-Up.
• 2000 - God is scheduled to make a special birthday speech to the world from Paris, but cancels at the last minute again. Rioting ensues.
• 2001 - God gets drunk at His birthday party and passes out in Buddha's bathroom.