Rational number

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In mathematics, a Rational Number is any number that looks simple. This is in comparison to other kinds of numbers, such as complex numbers and irrational numbers (sometimes called superstitious numbers). Unsurprisingly, women, creationists (note: all creationst numbers are irrational) and conservative numbers are also frequently shown to be irrational. but there are of course a few irrational numbers that are liberal or men, the most notable being (who is a libertarian and has written a few books about how creationist numbers are always irrational).

Examples of Rational Numbers[edit]

  • 1
  • 3
  • 3.5
  • 4

Examples of Numbers that Aren't Rational[edit]

  • (This one is complex. The trick is to think too much.)
  • Almost 3
  • This one is a number even though it is a letter (confused? that's because it's an irrational number)
  • √2 Be careful. This irrational number attempts to trick you by including the rational number 2 in its notation.

How to Identify Rational Numbers[edit]

The easiest way to test the rationality of a number is to ask it difficult questions, such as "Why is the sky blue?" or "If Jim can't afford to keep both his children, what should he do?". Other questions are also acceptable. A rational number, by definition, will surprise you by reasoning the answer and providing a solution in under ten seconds flat.

The Muffin Man Theorem[edit]

This is another acceptable method to test rationality. Simply follow the steps below:

  1. Enter a bakery or other fine muffin-selling establishment.
  2. Approach the counter. You're on important mathematical business, no need to wait your turn.
  3. Speak the following words: "I would like to buy some muffins. Put them in a plastic bag."
    1. If the entity serving you replies "What kind?" or has no plastic bags, leave immediately. They're probably Amish or terribly diseased.
    2. If they reply "how many?" you may continue.
  4. Speak your possibly-rational number. Enunciate clearly and speak at a constant rate. Example: "One."
    1. You should not be required to say please, or thank you. You're important.
  5. If the entity...
  • is offended, you may have an undiagnosed case of Tourette's.
  • is confused, you have spoken an irrational number. Leave through a back exit.
  • screams loudly and continuously, you may have spoken a complex number. These are not meant to be spoken. Your priority now is to shift the blame.
  • starts putting muffins in a plastic bag, you have spoken a rational number.

Special Cases[edit]

  • Some numbers can be negative. If this is the case, you will see muffins being taken out of a plastic bag. This is normal.
  • If your number takes more than a few seconds to say, it is either very large or very specific. In neither case will you want to attempt paying for the muffins. Consider bigamy instead.
  • In high-class bakeries the entity may use sharp knives or other more complex laser-guided devices to ensure the correct number of muffins are inside a plastic bag. In such cases please remain behind the safety line, and do not attempt to juggle said item to pass the time.
  • Theorem does not apply to any muffin bakers that live on Drury Lane- in which case you will add Pi minus 3.14 muliplied by zero to derive the coefficient of the rational number divided by itself times one.

Uses of Rational Numbers[edit]

Common rational numbers are generally used as gristle in party pies, but longer and more interesting ones are far more valuable and serve such purposes as telling people how tall they are, and measuring the distance to the nearest pub.

Particularly rational numbers, such as 'Nineteen and Three Quarters', have been known to write self-help books. Look for them under 'N' and 'F' in your local library.

Although Taxi drivers appear to use rational numbers to measure the fee, they actually employ a far more intricate system that uses rotating complex numbers so as to result in the biggest cost that they can get away with charging.