Poop throwing monkeys
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"Jesus Fucking Christ; all over my new suit!! God damnit!!!"
"mmmrffffff, gag, phooey, gd dmnid, *spit*, phooo, ugh, gag"
SPLOOTER!!! PLIFFF PLOP!!!
"Mudder flugger" (he poops in his own hand; flings it....)
"HEEEE HEEEEE" SPLAT!!! SPLATTER!!! SPLOSH!!!
"As a professor of Anthropology, I do so enjoy these outings to the zoo, especially the antics of the primates. They look like they're having so much fun doing... wait, what are they doing? Oh my GD-ack!!!!"
The Anthropologist tells his version of the story: