Paprika
According to Indian legend, paprika is named after a religious figure named Rysh Paprike. [1] [2] [3] [4] [5]
Production[edit]
Hungary, also known as the Paprika Empire, is the world's primary supplier of paprika.
Uses[edit]
Paprika is used to make Shakshuka (see photo for too much information).
Most Paprika is used to make Palinka, the national beverage of Hungary.
In the preparation of Spew, paprika may be added to impart an interesting flavour.
Dikembe Mutombo enjoys frozen meat pies seasoned liberally with paprika. It is a bad idea to keep paprika next to the stove in the kitchen as it is very flammable.
The characteristic flaming pants worn by lawyers are colored with paprika (see HowTo:Become a Lawyer).
Those who wish to be eaten, particularly interns, should dust with paprika for added tastiness. Bill Clinton especially loves Paprika. (see HowTo:Be Eaten)
Paprika is also a minor, but essential ingredient in Ayahuasca and the Pupate Homosexual Drug Culture of the 1980s. Paprika Pringles are particularly notorious for causing severe brain damage. And, of course, paprika is the real secret to Kenny Rogers BBQ sauce and Grey Matter Goulash.
Several pounds of paprika were part of the witches brew that gave rise to the birth of J.P. Morgan, and a pinch of paprika helped create a geeky ambiance for the founding and booting up of Sacramento.
Paprika may also be used in the synthesis of Obnoxious Plastic
Anything Critics say should be be taken with a grain of paprika, if you're salt sensitive.
Contrary to urban legend, the punishment for entering Turkmenistan without an entry and an exit visa stamped by the Chief Commissioner of the Bureau of Immigration and countersigned by the Turkmenbashi or his Earthly Regent, or being a member of, or affiliated with any of the undemocratic and freedom-hating illegal so-called political parties which lurk in the ungodly parts of Turkmenistan corrupting youths with buggery and peddling drugs, or having been charged with corrupting youths or peddling or using drugs, or being a member of the Communist Party of Turkmenistan, or being an atheist, or carrying any literature or so-called art which contradicts the Democratic and Neutral philosophy of Turkmenistan, or being a member of any armed forces, government or secret police service which serves a non-Neutral country, or being a Jew, or saying the word geography in public does not involve paprika.
Its economical importance[edit]
Due to the lack of bank notes or coinage, which haven't been invented yet in Hungary, paprika is currently used as currency along with Palinka, peep show tickets, cheap Chinese sweatshop shoes, and the túró rudi. At the current exchange rate, 4 kilos of paprika is equal to 2 liters of palinka, 25 túró rudi, or 13¾ pairs of cheap Chinese sweatshop shoes, or 4 peep show tickets.
Due to the enormous quantities available at all times, all workers in Hungary are paid in Paprika.
Paprika in the Arts and Society[edit]
Paprika Heights is a middle-class slave, freaky, mexican and funny-guys-with-reggae-hats neighborhood in Queens.
Zsa Zsa Gabor was named Miss Chicken Paprika in 1910.
The Flying Paprikas demonstrated that Paprika makes for strange music.
See also[edit]
References[edit]
| Magyarság |
 People
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| Atilla's Barca Lounger * Buda's Place * The Hungarian Province of Romania * Zolton's Paprika Palace * Bull's Slaughter of Eger |