Orangology
“This religion is the one true religion.”
“I'm a vagina.”
“I am better than David Blaine and I also like this religion. You go girl.”
Orangology: Unlike quite a few religions, Orangology follows more than one God.
Orangology follows the God of Reptiles, the God of Fire, the God of Lies and Cheating, the God of Magic Tricks, and most importantly the God of Orange Juice. This is our God and Leader; all mighty Orange Juice.
Noteworthy figures[edit]
The founder of Orangology goes by the name Owen Wallbanga. He is a man of superior intelligence and great charisma. David Amada also helped to found it, but his childhood is gay so I won't talk about him. Other major figures of Orangology include Albert Loo; a great philosopher and an extremely intelligent engineer. He believes in inner strength and mind over matter, along with other philosophical terms. Another major figure is the Mighty Dollar; which is also known as the Provider. He provides for those who believe in Orange Juice to strengthen their spirits, and he lifts them high in life. Here we see our savior, Orange Juice in it's most tasty state; in a glass.
Beliefs[edit]
In the beginning there was Orange Juice. First day, Owen said to Albert: "Let us be gay together!" And they were. It was good. Then there was fire(sexual fire). Second day, Owen said to Albert "Let there be bum fuck. And there was. And it was good. For the entire rest of the week, we rested. That was good too.
After society was built, Orange Juice sent down his lesser spirit, Orange Punch, who was sent down to die for our sins. He has never been the same since.
The 11 Commandethments[edit]
Number one: Thou shalt masturbate 19 times per day.
Number two: Thou shalt drink Orange Juice on a daily basis.
Number three: Thou shalt never drink Apple Juice, though it is tempting.
Number four: Thou must never deny the fact that Owen is superior and you are inferior.
Number five: Naked mole rats are gross.
Number six: Never watch Family Channel.
Number seven: High School Musical sucks.
Number eight: Thou shalt covet thy neighbours ox, and wife at any given chance.
Number nine: Thou shalt own an Orange Tree through the course of your life.
Number ten: Thou shalt spread the word of Orangology to all you can.
Number eleven: Thou shalt always lie at every given chance. It is encouraged.
Number twelve: Thou shalt lick your mother.
Major figures[edit]
Albert Loo[edit]
Albert Loo is a great philosopher and a strong believer of inner strength and mind over matter. He keeps the other believers warm with his constant philosophical quotes of many great people such as Albert Einstein, William Shakespeare, and Aristotle. His pupils follow his footsteps and start making random quotes of William Shakespeare and Oprah Winfrey. Albert is known among most Orangologists as "The Oracle". He has been given this name because of his vast intelligence and the fact that he meditates much. Albert also possesses the great power to teach people of lesser intelligence to be an intelligent person, and they would cherish that for the rest of their puny little lives for as long as they worship Orangology.