|Part of the Mexican-American War
Tom Delay's victorious return to Washington
|Date: January 3, 2008
|Place: Washington D.C.
|Outcome: Republican's retake the Capital
Operation: Hammer began at the start of the new year, and brought to a conclusion the Mexican-American War. With the Mexicans themselves vanquished, only the Democrats in the Capital remained. Tom Delay, known as "The Hammer" during his tenure as congressman, was called upon to retake the capital.
By this point, Reid and his cronies had taken control of Congress, and were running amuck. Delay, and his remaining forces, set out to destroy the Democratic dictatorship. Under the inspiration of Dick Cheney, or as the Democrats knew him, "Long Dick", the Republicans stormed the front gate, demanding Reid and his allies throw down their arms or get blown to hell. Reid laughed, and planted a round from his pistol into Delay's leg.
From here, a fierce fight broke out; it looked a lot like the ending fight scene in Braveheart. Eventually, all that were left were the two standing: Delay and Reid. Reid, now only armed with a spear, and Delay, armed with a shotgun, seemed to be in a stalemate. It wasn't until Reid took Rick Santorum hostage that Delay threw his weapon down. From there, Reid broke Santorum's neck, and impaled Delay in the chest with his spear.
At this point, Wil Wheaton walked into the room and broke up the fighting, giving all still alive a brief time-out, then ordering them to go outside and play. Delay survived, Santorum died, and Reid got a spanking.
Thus ended the Mexican-American War, until Barack Obama came.