Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/October 1

October 1: Winter Paradox (Eastern Hemisphere), Contagious Disease Appreciation Day

• 1/0 CE - I was born... My name is "undefined".
• 331 BCE - Alexander the Great defeats Darius III of Persia in the Battle of the Bands.
• 1890 - Yosemite Sam National Park is established. *1928 - The Soviet Union introduces its first Five-Year Plan, which is to come up with another five-year plan in five years.
• 1960 - Nigeria gains independence from the United Kingdom. This event is celebrated by a solemn ten seconds of not sending spam emails.
• 1962 - Riots in Mississippi as Alabama wins the "America's most racist state" award. Alabama's victory brings an end to Mississippi's 30-year winning streak.
• 1964 - The Free Speech Movement is launched on the campus of University of California, Berkeley. Previously students had been charged up to a nickle per syllable for each word uttered.
• 1979 - The Hunt for Red October officially begins. Intended to start on September 28th, the Navy waited a couple of days to avoid changing the name.
• 1987 - The smartest guy is born in Sibu, Malaysia but will later be beaten soundly by crickets on the Jangan Lupa Lirik! game show and moves away in shame.
• 1998 - Raccoon City is destroyed by three cruise missiles and repeated aerial bombardment in an attempt to contain a T-Virus outbreak.
• 2003 - Bournemouth is recognised as a city by the British government; the entire world is shocked.
• 2004 - In a desperate bid to diversify its business Microsoft engineers and a team from Wigan University (England) invent the pineapple chunk.
• 2005 - Official Reminder: September has now ended. Now is an appropriate time to wake up Billie Joe from Green Day.
• 2007 - 12 men celebrate Man Flu by going on an all night bender. Only 5 survive even though a doctor prescribes reruns of Match of the Day and plenty of nuts magazines.
• 2007 - "Punch Me in the Nuts Barney" is launched and instantly becomes a sell-out.