Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/September 4

September 4: Unnecessary Surgery Day

• 30 CE - The Original Artists release their album 20/20: The 20 Greatest Hits from the 20's.
• 1427 - Katie Price is formed by sending an electric current through plastic. This is generally seen to be a lousy idea.
• 1834 - Vlad Drakul cancels his newspaper subscription after being spoofed on April Fool's Day and finding out that beheading people with a rubber spatula is really, really hard.
• 1952 - Colonel Potter tries to take out Cpl. Radar O'Reilly's appendix, only to discover after making an incision that it's already out.
• 1954 - In the only such instance in recorded history, your mom loses weight. This because she loses 11 stone (154 lbs.) of ugly fat when you move out.
• 1971 - Elvis gets a paper cut, is sued by the Memphis Board of Surgeons for practising medicine without a licence.
• 1975 - A distant relative of a famous musician accidentally stumbles in front of an oncoming taxi cab, but the car stops, and he survives. Ironically, he was on his way to a clinic to be euthanized.
• 1983 - Michael Jackson nearly dies of food poisoning after eating 12-year-old nuts.
• 1985 - Cary Grant finds his bedside table has a small crack on one of the legs.
• 1994 - Another Ace of Base song is released. The subsequent decontamination process will take 15 years to complete.
• 1996 - Pop star Prince (or whatever the fuck he's called now) has a third penis surgically attached.
• 1997 - Prince successfully sues his surgeon for giving him the penis of an impotent man, claiming it has given his other two penises 'performance anxiety'. Nobody knows what the fuck he's talking about. Again.
• 2005 - Steve Irwin kills a stingray in a boating accident while 5 times over the drink drive limit.
• 2006 - Steve Irwin is killed by a stingray that was drink driving. Police say it is an accident and the stingray isn't charged.
• 2050 - Australians finally stop referring to Steve Irwin as a great bloke/battler/fighter/true Aussie and generally agree he was a bit stupid.