Martin Clunes
“Martin Clun, Martin Clun, ying ding ding ding Martin Clun.......Ohwioehjaiowehjaoehjaw”
“(*a deep breath out*)”
Martin Clunes CBE (born 1961) is an extraordinary visionaire, film maker, multi millionaire and genuinely a man behaving badly. He is best known for his roles in the Churchill advert and the Star Wars musical, and less so for him being Doc Martin, pioneer of skinhead boots, and Gary from Men Behaving Badly. He became president of the South East in 1997 following a 64% vote margin battle against Tony Blair. His soundtrack song is D:Ream's Things Can Only Get Bad, an absolutely hilarious pun on Men Behaving Badly. His left foot was voted UK's strangest foot in Heat Magazine in July 2009. The Queen put him in the Order of the British Empire in 2011.
Early life[edit]
Martin Clunes was born in 1961 to a scrummy South West London council flat. His supposed father, 'Potato Head', as he was affectionally known by locals (he wasn't actually his father, just his neighbour, who looked after him whilst his dad was writing classical genius) owned a Walkers van and generally kept it parked in akward positions in the middle of the road. This caused problems with his neighbours who said that they were blocking the road. This came to an akward turn of events when the bin men came on 14 July 1964 to collect his Walkers van but their lifter could not lift the walkers. Instead, baby Martin Clunes, who was residing in the back of the van, was lifted up into the bin lorry with 17 packets of cheese and onion. From this, he gained his nick name 'Cheese Head'. His real father was a great classical composer, so perhaps behaving badly drinking beer is a step down from his family's way.
Suddenly, he was posh, and went to a private school, and played chequers, daddy, chequers, and played wugby for the Great London University Waagby Team, and was privately educated, and went to the observatree of Granwhich, and made visits to Barth, and played waaagby on the astroturrrf graaaars. Posh wanker.
Career[edit]
He went to the Mercury Theatre which gave a big kick to the balls for his career. He appeared in the Doctor Who 1983 serial Snakedance, playing 'Lon'. Jesus he was young at the time! In fact, in 1994, when the Catchphrase "classic TV moment" Snake Charmer was aired, Clunes, who was behaving badly at the time, said that they had ripped the classic moment off Snakedance.
He was in the sitcoms All at No.20 and No Place Like Home, which everyone remembers... nope, me neither.
The debut encounter with Harry Enfield[edit]
When being posh and bad at the same time (much like Martin Clunes), he encountered the nutter himself Harry Enfield, who was fresh n' straight off the bat of a nut commercial. This lead to a bromance where he later played a waaagby player in Harry Enfield's Television Show (which he agreed to do due to his posh roots.) A wild wagbo appeared which made the two change their game.
Then... His Badness Sunk In.
Men Behaving Bardly and the end of the bromance with Harry Enfield[edit]
Enfield enlisted Clunes to appear a brand new bard sitcom for ITV1, Men Behaving Badly (or Barrrdly). They emphasised their bromance by playing two porn-lovin' pizza-eatin' football hooligans.
After series 2, Men Behaving Baaardly was failing, on ITV. Harry Enfield had enough of being bad and left the show, thus ending his much publicised bromance with Martin Clunes. THEN! BBC One decided that Baaardly was just too hot to put down. Martin Clunes was recovering from the end of the friendship in a recitment clinic when BBC One gave him a call (or caaarll). He literally said "WHEEEEE!" and jumped up in the air and rainbows and bunnies and elfs happened. They were looking for a new best friend for Martin Clunes (or 'Gary' as is his pseudonym on the show), much like the manager of a boyband would. Then, future Bob the Builder himself Neil Morrisey voulenteered to be his friend. Neil Morrrrisey was too posh. This translated well on screen, as despite their baaaarrrd habbits, they were just too posh to hate (that is, if you were posh.) It was a way of communicating and finding common ground with the working class. It proved a huge success.
In 1995, Neil Morrisey decided to make his priority Morph (like the Tango Doll.) Martin Clunes decided to befriend Gary Lineker in this time to make Morrisey jealous, appearing on An Evening with Gary Lineker. However, their friendship ended when Lineker left Clunes for Walkers Crisps advertising (ironically, which was what Martin Clunes' fake dad/neighbour did.)
End of Men Behaving Bardly and the end of the bromance with Neil Morrisey[edit]
Men Behaving Barrdly was a huge success and Clunes won a BAFTA (Bad Award For THE Actor) for his role as Gary in the series in 1996, the year football 'came home' which was the centerpiece for Gary at the time. However, it was decided that the Men Behaving Brdly had to die so in 1997-1998, it was written off of BBC One. Martin Clunes was really tired of TV ending his friendships. He and Morrisey parted ways, because he was no longer 'this charming man'. (boooo). OK, he and Neil Morrisey parted ways because Morrisey desired to be a builder, but a celebrity TV builder. Martin didn't follow his idea and their friendship ended right there. Martin instead decided he wanted to be a dog (a reference to his nickname) but a celebrity TV dog. The fierce feud saw neither of them get very good spots to be their desires. Martin became Kipper the Dog, a kids show. Neil became Bob the Builder, a kids show.
Doc Martin[edit]
Martin Clunes' career suddenly became a box office failure and left BBC to join ITV... again (who left him shoddy in 1992.) Inspired by his skinhead roots, he decided to start wearing Doc Martin boots (inspired by his hero Alexei Sayle, at least, that's who he said his hero was to the press.) He approached ITV1 to make a doc series (short for 'documentary series') about boots. They knew he had potential. They turned him into TV detective 'Doc Martin'. He wasn't to complain as his career saw an all time high.
Today, Martin Clunes is probably best known because Matt Lucas and David Walliams wrote a song about him for their TV series Come Fly with Me, where they portrayed two huge Japanese fans of him. Emphasising his 'asdjkasdjasdjakl' catchphrase, they took it to TV in 2010. Martin Clunes was deeply offended by the scene.
Rivals[edit]
Much like Axl Rose, Eminem, Jay-Z and 2Pac, Martin Clunes has had many fierce rivarlies with other people in the business.
Harry Enfield[edit]
His former best friend became his fierce rival in 1992 when Harry Enfield stopped being a man behaving badly due to ITV deciding they weren't worth it. His friendship with Neil Morrisey was intended to make Harry jealous. In 1994, Harry Enfield launched his rival TV show Harry Enfield's Television Programme which took many knocks at Martin, including a sketch where one man in the 50s watches the TV show Men Behaving Baghdadly (this is seriously the truth.) In turn, Martin Clunes made BBC write many knocks at Harry in Men Behaving Barrrdly, including many offensive impersonations. Oooh, fierce!
Neil Morrisey[edit]
His former best friend became his fierce rival in 1997 when Neil Morrisey decided to take a different route following the end of Men Behaving Barrrdly, as aformentioned he wanted to be a TV builder (he was Bob the Builder), which made Martin decide he wanted to be a TV dog. Because of his immense popularity, Martin got the job as 'Kipper the Dog' in 1997, whilst no TV studio hired Neil Morrisey until 2000. Despite this, Bob the Builder became much more popular than Kipper the Dog, even scoring two UK number one singles (including the Christmas number one Can We Fix It?). They openly spoke against each other and each other's shows and this often made the news.
Gary Lineker[edit]
His former best friend became his fierce rival in 1995 when Gary Lineker decided to take on the roll of Martin Clunes' crispy neighbour by filming adverts in 1995. Martin Clunes said to BBC that 'that poor bastard decided to film ads for crisps. What a sell out! I've never liked anyone like that' and then laughed nervously.
Legacy[edit]
Today, Martin Clunes is perhaps the most influential actor of all time, next to Ghandi of course, whose 1982 film was a real hit!
Upcoming films[edit]
Brightburn May 24, 2019 Ad Astra co-production with Regency Enterprises, Plan B Entertainment, RT Features, Keep Your Head, and Mad River[5] June 7, 2019 Dark Phoenix co-production with Genre Films, Hutch Parker Entertainment, Marvel Entertainment, and The Donners' Company[9] July 12, 2019 Stuber co-production with GoldDay[10][11] August 2, 2019 The New Mutants co-production with Genre Films, Marvel Entertainment and Sunswept Entertainment[5] September 13, 2019 Spies in Disguise as 20th Century Fox Animation; co-production with Blue Sky Studios and Chernin Entertainment First animated film from 20th Century Fox to be distributed by Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures [12][13][11]
September 27, 2019 The Art of Racing in the Rain co-production with Original Film and Starbucks Entertainment November 1, 2019 Terminator: Dark Fate international distribution only; co-production with Paramount Pictures, Skydance Media, Lightstorm Entertainment, and Tencent Pictures[14] November 15, 2019 Ford v. Ferrari co-production with Chernin Entertainment[15][11] December 25, 2019 Call of the Wild[16] co-production with 20th Century Fox Animation and 3 Arts Entertainment 2019 Underwater co-production with Chernin Entertainment February 14, 2020 Nimona as 20th Century Fox Animation; co-production with Blue Sky Studios and Vertigo Entertainment[5] Kingsman: The Great Game co-production with Marv Studios[5] June 2020 Fear Street co-production with Chernin Entertainment[17] July 3, 2020 Free Guy[18] co-production with Maximum Effort and 21 Laps July 17, 2020 Bob's Burgers: The Movie[19] as 20th Century Fox Animation; co-production with Wilo Productions, Buck & Millie Productions, and Bento Box Entertainment October 2, 2020 Death on the Nile sequel to Murder on the Orient Express[11][20] May 31, 2019 Rocketman co-production with Marv Films and Rocket Pictures July 12, 2019 Crawl produced by Ghost House Pictures July 31, 2019 Dora and the Lost City of Gold produced by Paramount Players, Walden Media, and Nickelodeon Movies[62][63] October 11, 2019 Gemini Man co-production with Skydance Media, Jerry Bruckheimer Films, and Overbrook Entertainment [42] November 1, 2019 Terminator: Dark Fate North America distribution only; co-production with 20th Century Fox, Lightstorm Entertainment, and Skydance Media[64][65] November 8, 2019 Sonic the Hedgehog[66] co-production with Paramount Animation, Marza Animation Planet, Original Film, Blur Studio, Sega, Hedgehog Films, Inc. and dj2 Entertainment[67][68][65] November 22, 2019 The Rhythm Section co-production with Eon Productions and IM Global[69] January 10, 2020 Limited Partners produced by Paramount Players and Principato-Young[70][71] March 6, 2020 The Lovebirds co-production with 3 Arts Entertainment, Quinn's House and Media Rights Capital March 20, 2020 Playing with Fire produced by Paramount Players and Broken Road Productions[72] March 27, 2020 Untitled G.I. Joe film co-produced with MGM Studios, Di Bonaventura Pictures, Hasbro Studios and Skydance Media[42] May 15, 2020 Untitled A Quiet Place sequel co-production with Platinum Dunes[65] May 22, 2020 The SpongeBob Movie: It's a Wonderful Sponge produced by Paramount Animation, Nickelodeon Movies and United Plankton Pictures[42] June 26, 2020 Top Gun: Maverick co-production with Skydance Media and Jerry Bruckheimer Films[65] July 17, 2020 Untitled Paramount Animation film co-production with Paramount Animation The Sun Is Also a Star co-production with Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer and Alloy Entertainment[13] May 31, 2019 Godzilla: King of the Monsters co-production with Legendary Pictures[30] June 14, 2019 Shaft distribution only; produced by New Line Cinema, Davis Entertainment[13] June 28, 2019 Annabelle Comes Home co-production with New Line Cinema Atomic Monster Productions and The Safran Company [37] August 9, 2019 The Kitchen[38][39] produced by New Line Cinema and Bron Creative August 14, 2019 Blinded by the Light[40] produced by New Line Cinema September 6, 2019 It: Chapter Two[41] produced by New Line Cinema, Lin Pictures, Vertigo Entertainment and KatzSmith Productions September 13, 2019 The Goldfinch co-production with Color Force and Amazon Studios[13] October 4, 2019 Joker co-production with Village Roadshow Pictures, DC Entertainment and Bron Creative October 18, 2019 Torrance co-production with Bron Creative, Mayhem Pictures, and Pearl Street Films November 1, 2019 Motherless Brooklyn co-production with Class 5 Films and MWM Studios[42] November 8, 2019 Doctor Sleep co-production with Intrepid Pictures, Weed Road, and Vertigo Entertainment[30] November 15, 2019 The Good Liar produced by New Line Cinema and Bron Creative December 20, 2019 Super Intelligence[43][37] distribution only; produced by New Line Cinema, Bron Creative and On the Day Productions January 17, 2020 Just Mercy co-production with Gil Netter Productions and Good Films[37] February 7, 2020 Birds of Prey (and the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn) co-production with DC Entertainment, LuckyChap Entertainment, Kroll & Co, and Clubhouse Pictures[13] March 13, 2020 Godzilla vs. Kong co-production with Legendary Pictures[13] May 8, 2020 Barbie co-production with Mattel Films and LuckyChap Entertainment[44] May 15, 2020[45] Scoob co-production with Warner Animation Group and Atlas Entertainment[13] June 5, 2020 Wonder Woman 1984 co-production with Cruel and Unusual Films, Mandy Films, DC Entertainment, Atlas Entertainment and Mad Ghost Productions[13][46] June 26, 2020 In the Heights [47] July 17, 2020 Untitled Christopher Nolan project August 7, 2020 event film to be announced September 11, 2020 The Conjuring 3 co-production with New Line Cinema, Atomic Monster Productions and The Safran Company September 25, 2020 The Many Saints of Newark co-production with New Line Cinema[48] October 16, 2020 The Witches November 20, 2020 Dune co-production with Legendary Pictures The Angry Birds Movie 2[R][AB] August 16, 2019 [21] Rovio Animation Sony Pictures Imageworks 20 Wish Dragon[R] 2019 [22] Beijing Sparkle Roll Media Corporation Flagship Entertainment Group Boss Collaboration
Base FX 21 Peter Rabbit 2[R][S] February 7, 2020 [23] Olive Bridge Entertainment 2.0 Entertainment