Longest Article
This is not the longest article on Uncyclopedia. This is just a tribute.
“It's pretty long.”
“THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!!”
The Longest Article On Uncyclopedia is an event that occurs when a certain nerd is incredibly bored, which causes the person to go straight to Uncyclopedia and add even more repetitive nonsense and Oscar Wilde quotes to the mass of crap that is Uncyclopedia. The result is an article that is over 9000 bytes, and will require 90% of the average human life-span to read. The completion of the longest article on Uncyclopedia will also require an extreme amount of willpower.
History[edit]
The first instance of the Longest Article on Uncyclopedia took place with the creation of an article that contains nothing but a full stop. This article was so long that anyone who attempted to read it suffered from temporary permanent insanity. The article was nominated for deletion from Uncyclopedia for safety reasons, but it was later decided by the Absolute Supreme Rulers of Uncyclopedia that all Uncyclopedia users (especially <insert name here>) suffered from permanent insanity anyway and that removing an article to prevent further insanity was un-necessary[Citation not needed at all; thank you very much].
Roughly 3.14159264 years after the creation of an article that contains nothing but a full stop, a much longer article called Nothingness was created. The Nothingness article was so long that the sheer size of the article caused Uncyclopedia users to have epileptic seizures. The article contained so much content that the Supreme Rulers of Uncyclopedia declared it unsafe for viewing by humans and deleted the article. It was later realized that causing seizures was totally hilarious and the article was re-written with the same amount of content as it had before the deletion.
Culture[edit]
The longest article on Uncyclopedia has been referenced several times. Advertisements for Wikipedia contained subliminal messages which read "VIEW THE LONGEST ARTICLE ON UNCYCLOPEDIA OR YOU'RE A STUPID STINKY POO POO HEAD LOL". The subliminal messages were removed from the adverts by the Supreme No-Lifes of D**kipiedia after realizing that the messages promoted the site that Wikipedia was parodying.
It has also been referenced on the *cough*popular*cough* TV show The Noob Show, in which the presenter of the show, Bob the Generic n00b, quoted "LOLOL I LIAK T3H L0NG3ST ART1CLE 0N UNCYCLOP3DIA, IT MAEX ME CRAPP IN MEH PANTZ!!".
The Amorolo Hack of 2017[edit]
In June 2017, a group of hackers who go by the name "Amorolo" attempted to break into Uncyclopedia and achieve what was rightfully theirs- the longest article in Uncyclopedia. Everybody was defenseless. The mods were too busy doing a circlejerk to their lord Jesus. The mods still claim to this day that it wasn't homosexual for they were just looking and not touching.
On June 18th, 2019 the Amorolo gang found the article, but not before all of their brains exploded being exposed to a stupid ass article. Mike Rotch opened up about this, saying "I knew I wasn't supposed to look. Everybody else knew too, but the moment you have your eyes on that thing, it just lures you in. It was so sudden; what looked as if it were heaven was actually a tunnel straight to the depths of hell. Sort of like this site."
Other uses[edit]
"Longest Article" can also refer to:
- An immature way to say "My penis is the longest" (e.g. "I have the Longest Article in my pants")
- The Longest Article on Uncyclopedia
- The book that never ends