So you just read HowTo:Vandalise Uncyclopedia and you want to know how to do it? You have just read HowTo:Get Banned and want to be able to blank an article (no 1 on the list)?
Well this is the place for you: This is How To Properly Blank an Article.
What is Blanking?
Blanking an article is a form of Vandalism. It is the easiest and least harmful form of vandalism because it doesn't hurt anyone.
Perhaps you have been banned. Maybe you have had an article huffed. Maybe you are just a jerk. Well then in any of these cases you would want to cause some chaos, annoy the admins or just be stupid and not funny.
Blanking an Article 101
Remember that some articles are protected, or are semi-protected. If you want to vandalise those then you have to have an account, but you risk losing it. It is easier to go and find unprotected articles to blank.
Blanking an Article 202
Typically you need a message of some sort. Some people suggest that you use Template:Blank while others use random words like shit, poo, or other things that little children would find funny. Blanking is not an elaborate form of vandalism so you don't need something that is too fancy. Just a single word will do. Remember that anonymity is very important especially if you are/had been a member.
Blanking an Article
|This section was intentionally left blank|
Except for this message box claiming blankness
Which is probably just a figment of your imagination anyway
Why don't you go somewhere else and stop worrying about it! Ya paranoid
Step 1: The Stakeout
You will need to find unprotected articles, but in the spur of the moment you are more likely to run into a protected article that will have you sitting there going 'Duh?' with some spittle coming out of the corner of your mouth because you chose not to use your brain.
What you need to do is go and look at articles. The more popular ones are more likely to be protected, like AAAAAAAA or Uncyclopedia is the worst.
Look through the NRV's or QVFD, they are going to be destroyed anyway so why not? Dead End articles are probably a good choice because it will be a while before your vandalism is noticed properly.
It is good to make a list, preferably not on Uncyclopedia though
Step 2: The Process
When you are ready go to Uncyclopedia. Open the articles that you want to blank and open the edit feature.
There are two schools of thought as to how to blank the articles. One is that you open all the articles in windows or tabs, edit them at the same time and then 'click' 'click' 'click' this is perfect for a short time because you will be long gone when they find it. The second is the longer 'blank one at a time' feature. This is not as good as the other one unless you are certain that there is nobody to block you. Since this is slower your actions can be followed and you will be found and blocked mid blank.
Step 3: Run Away
Do you really expect me to write something about this step? Oh very well. First close the pages. Then clear your history so the Ban Patrol will have to take more time gathering evidence against you. Then turn on a powerful electromagnet near the computer. This will remove all the data. Then get up and run away. To run you have to lift your left (or right) leg move it forwards and place on the ground. Then you lift the right (or left) leg and do the same thing. Do this quickly and you should be running.
Things not to do
There are many things hat you should not do while blanking an article. Here are some case studies.
1. Don't make your actions known
127.0.0.1 was most likely an aspiring vandal. However in the gathering stage he thought it would be a good idea to tell admins what to do.
He demanded that the following articles be unprotected:
- Uncyclopedia is the Worst
- Asperger's syndrome
- Oscar Wilde
- Encyclopedia Dramatica
Although pointed out by many that most of those articles were semi-protected or already had content he continued. However he decided to go and rant on about conspiracy theories involving cabals, the New World Order and other random things.
Had he done some more research he could have blanked his pages or vandalised them to fit his nutty theories. Instead he was banned for a year but he had been nominated for admin though, so it wasn't all that bad.
The moral? Don't be an idiot when you want to blank pages.
3. Create an account
On January 17 an account called User:Blanker appeared. This person blanked two articles, Madchester and Socialist Republic of Scouseland. This person might be the same person as shown in the example below, but the lack of actual blanking on all the pages might show that this is not the same person.
If banned, and shown to be the below IP, this person will be guilty of returning to the scene of the crime. Something that you should not be doing.
An Example of Success
January 15 saw the appearance of 184.108.40.206. This IP blanked 5 articles. The articles in question were:
Now this was a proper blank. The articles were left empty. There was nothing left. This was a perfect example of a proper blank of an article. The contribution log shows that he was quick and efficient. Now we can also see that this person was opposed to humour directed towards the British, because the articles in question are British, even though they don't look like it at first.
The Price of Success
220.127.116.11 would be considered a successful blanker because he blanked numerous articles on the 6/2/07 (Using the non-US dating convention, I mean who the hell thinks that the month should be first... oh...) however the sheer number of articles that he blanked means that he will never really do anything else, and will forever remain a blanker, or a vandal, either blanking out articles with [Insert article in question here] pow pow, or pointing out spelling mistakes in caps.
Never, ever let yourself get this far in.
A Last and somewhat important note
Never try to blank Nihilism or This page does not exist. idiot.