Homestuck

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Homestuck's logo

“I don't get it”

~ Franz Kafka, Octavian Augustus, Albert Einstein

“Neither do I”

~ Andrew Hussie

Homestuck is a webcomic originally written, drawn and animated by autobot leader Optimus Prime. However, after a long night in a bar that involved a game of poker, a hooker with a fetish for Beethoven, and one pint too many, the comic was relinquished to MSPA owner Andrew Hussie. While the internet is home to many a webcomic that can be described as a little left of centre, Homestuck, in terms of its sheer subversiveness and general mindfuckery, really takes the cake. In fact, it doesn't merely take the cake, it devours the cake, becomes completely enamoured with cake, invests in the baked goods industry over a number of years until it becomes the majority shareholder in several of the industry’s largest companies and merges them all together into an evil global cake conglomerate.

Homestuck was originally developed to be advanced via fan contributions. However, Hussie decided to discontinue this method of advancing the plot in 2010. He stated the fan input method had “grew too socialist and made it difficult... to tell a coherent story”. Seizing complete control of the plot has solved all these problems, and the comic is now practically synonymous with coherence and linearity. It uses inside jokes so often that if you had a nickel for every time the comic mentioned irons in the fire, you'd probably have around 50 cents. Homestuck is also notable for its fanbase, which often are dressed like the lunatics you would see out back of the dollar store, mumbling about "Krypton Radiation" or some shit.

Side projects[edit]

A graphical representation of recent sales of Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff T-shirts, prepared by Chartered Accountants

Hussie sells a significant amount of merchandise (like character T-shirts) to allow the comic’s fans to better play out their twisted fantasies. Sales have been increasing of late (see right).

Video game Kickstarter[edit]

ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO HUSS

~ The basic premise of the Homestuck video game

On September 4, 2012, Andrew Hussie announced a Kickstarter to raise funds for a Homestuck video game. Hussie’s goal was to raise $2,485,506, an amount as ambitious as it was arbitrary. On the last day of the campaign, with fewer than a thousand dollars raised and the Kickstarter’s message board filled with derogatory slander about “grey paint smearing freaks”, Hussie dipped into Ryan North’s (of Dinosaur Comics fame) savings, as the two had previously swapped their credit cards. Thus, the Kickstarter was successfully funded, and North’s credit rating is now lower than Greece’s.

Fan community[edit]

Above: The destruction of Newgrounds' desert-based servers, five minutes after the site began hosting one of Homestuck's Flash animations

Homestuck’s fan base has been described as in the millions. Exemplary of the community’s size, Hussie was able to destroy Flash game and animation site Newgrounds (motivated by a petty grudge) with a skilful and coordinated attack. He persuaded Newgrounds to host one of Homestuck’s Flash animations after putting the comic on hiatus for several months to maximise hype, and thus the resulting strain on Newgrounds’ servers.

Plot (the long and short of it; the Medium, too)[edit]

Homestuck begins when thirteen-year-old John Egbert receives a beta copy of an upcoming computer game, called "Sburb," in the mail. Installing and running the game on his computer triggers a meteor attack on his real-life house, which survives by being transported to another planet, thus immersing him completely within the world of Sburb. As John's friends Rose Lalonde, Dave Strider, and Jade Harley join the game with him, they learn that they have unwittingly triggered the end of the world, and that it is their duty to play the game and thereby see the story through to its completion. This arc concludes with the revelation that

shut thef fuck up